Can it get any worse?

I have no money, no income, no way of supporting myself, and as of yesterday I have to find a new place to live. I’m pretty sure my best friends boyfriend got into her head and talked her into having me move out. Fine. Power, gone. It’s been in my name since I moved in and she hasn’t paid it. She’s also been working from home off my Internet. Guess what? Gone. You don’t need me when you’re not financially gaining from me. Then good. Bye. I have no where to turn. Not even any money for food. I just tried calling my mom and she said sorry I can’t do anything. Evil is on a downward spiral, good broke up with me. I’ve been off my medications. I’m frozen in fear. I guess I’ll go starving.

Wacky World

I don’t really have anything to post about but considering I’m a little dazed, have ADHD, love to talk and type fast there will be a blog post somewhere.

SOOOOOOOO okay, I’m having construction done on my house and I have to use the last of my savings to put my current rent that’s due tomorrow in escrow until the house passes inspection on April 27. So I’ll have to buy myself sometime with that. I’m thinking I didn’t get the job I went after but I’m okay with it because it would require a lot of travel and I don’t know if it’s really what I wanted to do anyway. I can still collect my unemployment and waitress in the mean time while I look for something else. Which is what I think I’m going to do.

Also, today is opening day for the Detroit Tigers and I wish I was downtown because it’s like a fucking party. Even if you’re not at the game, its a fucking party all over downtown today! UGH so much fun! I should take a shower and just get all pretty with my D gear on. Ah, fuck it might as well. What else have I got to do? I’m going to… and watch the game. Create my own experience.

Tomorrow they’re doing some chemical treatments on the house and me and the pooch can’t be here. My mom agreed to work from home so that we would have somewhere to go. Maizy loves having me here. She wants to be around me all the time. It’s so cute. She is so presh. She’s cuddling in bed with me right now.

Eh well okay I’m going to take a shower and get my game day experience on. I should clean too but yeah, no. I’m going to apply for jobs as well. I don’t overwhelm myself and apply for everything. I apply for like 3-4 on each website a day, and keep a log of what I apply for so that when I get a call or email back, I can make sure it’s something I actually applied for and not some BS.

Blahhhhhhhh, I am toooooooooo lazy for anything right now……or lazy really isn’t the word but you know.

Update 3:41 PM TIGERS BEAT THE TWINS 4-0 ON OPENING DAY! TIGERS FTW!

Update 5:50 PM Okay I’m putting this out there. I’ve been waiting to hear back from someone I shouldn’t. It’s like you know you should stay away, but for some reason you can’t. You just go back for more. In two situations now that I think about it. Why do I always go after the wrong things? The wrong people? The wrong MEN. Mostly because I think my perspective of men is completely fucked up, and that is a whole other can of worms that we can even get into right now. I’m going to be around my friend right now because she needs a friend and I do too. I can’t sit around and wait for someone who I know is just going to hurt me.

Update 8:38 PM being around people helps. I got some grocery shopping done even though I feel like every dollar coming out of my pocket hurts me. Rawr. I need to put my energy elsewhere I guess. 

Lazy Sunday

Spending Sunday with my mom and our dogs trying to gather my thoughts and gear up for this week. I have to deal with reality tomorrow, and work. Oh work. I blew it off last week. So, it’s time to refocus. I just wanted to post this pic.

 

(My dog Maizy on the left, moms dog Mr. Big on the right)

So yeah, Sunday’s are usually my zen day. I’m so stressed over money right now. I have $15 to my name. I wonder how this is going to work out this week. As Tim Gunn would say….

Deep breaths. You got this.

I’m starting to feel anxiety over this week. Especially tomorrow. I’m getting my stuff back, but I don’t know what condition it’s in. I didn’t even think about that. Now comes the panic and the worry. I have no one here to try and talk me out of it. So, here goes my mind. But, no. Stop. It’ll be okay. You’ll figure this out. You’re figuring it out as you go and you’re doing okay, and you’ll continue to do okay. Just don’t fall completely apart. I’m so close to it, I feel like at any minute I’m about to shatter in a million little pieces. But I can’t and I won’t. I’m going to talk myself through and out of it.

Breathe.

PS – How can I be sad when I have this? I love my dog.

Wow internet broken

So my internet has been temporarily disabled. Which is why I haven’t updated my blog. Epic fail. Man. I have been trying to stay in a positive mind set and it’s actually working. 



Yes I just pulled that one. 

I also just want to add that I repaired a broken friendship recently and it feels nice. Taking things slowly of course but I’m glad we are back in action. I’m upset we ever were apart but sometimes we all need space. For whatever reason or another we all have our moments, and I respect that because shit, I damn sure have a hell of a lot of moments. 

Also, my amazing hello kitty soul sister sent this to me via US Postal Service! Yes, it still exists! 



Well if I haven’t eaten up too much data I’ll post. Tags later at work. Hehehehe.