It’s almost September!!

Where has the summer gone? I’m glad I got a job in mid June so that I didn’t have to sit around all summer. However it would’ve been nice to be unemployed and laying out in the pool all day. 

I was going back reading some of my old posts from last summer. It’s like I remember everything. Although I was constantly on drugs, my life was a mess, my love life was a mess. I’m glad I have simplicity in my life right now. I have work, friends, family. That’s all I need right now. Oh and of course my dog! 

Yes! I still have my dog. She adjusted very well last fall to her new home. She loves having a back yard to play in! It was very hard to leave her for a month when I went a away last year. Everyone in rehab had pics of their kids and I had some of “my baby” AKA my giant dog. I’ve found so much comfort in her. It’s impossible to have a bad day when you have someone that looks at you and loves on you. I had a bad day yesterday and when I came home to see her sweet face, I left all the bullshit at the door. 

Such a lady. 

Some other good news! My sisters wedding is just a little over a month away. She’s getting married October 8. They’re flying in from Arizona and getting married in Michigan. There will be a lot of out of towners coming in. I am of course the maid of honor. My sister wrote me in rehab and said she was very close to kicking me out of her wedding because I was on drugs. When they came in town, I was busy babysitting evil that I didn’t even spend any time with her. So she was really disappointed in me. 

I’m glad she didn’t have to do that because I’m really looking forward to being her maid of honor. I’ve never been in a wedding before, let alone someone’s maid of honor. They did a bachelorette party in Vegas in which I did not attend. I know my sis just wanted to have a good time and not worry if I was comfortable or not. So I decided to opt out. But boy do I miss Vegas. Plus I wouldn’t want to go with my sis anyway. The only way I’d go back is with some of my good girlfriends. 

Everything at my job is going well. It’s been a slow sales month, so I’m nowhere near the number of cars I sold last month. People just aren’t buying. I have a lot of follow ups in the next couple of months. As I mentioned I had a bad day yesterday. I didn’t have any leads (no one new to call) and I was getting upset with my boss for calling me out on it. He kept saying you really called all those people? Like do you think in lying? Then my boss added me on Facebook. Still trying to decide if this was a good or bad idea. 

He’s pretty cool, a couple years younger than I am. He tries to act like a bad ass at work and give me a hard time. However he does tell me what a great job I do pretty frequently and I like hearing it. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt passionate about work. My last couple of jobs were POINTLESS. So I started making up excuses and missing work frequently. With this job I don’t do that. I leave early sometimes (with permission) when my family has been in town and stuff. 

Now as far as my addiction goes, I would be lying if I said I was 100% clean. I still smoke pot, which I didn’t at first. But it’s not harming me. It’s helping me. Whenever I get stressed or anxious, I smoke. That’s way better than snorting a bunch of pills. I still take pills every once in a while. Lately I haven’t been able to tolerate them and they make me sick. So I’ve chilled out on them. But I figure if I do shit every once in a while, know my limits, and tell my friends what I’m doing so they can keep tabs on me, then I see nothing wrong. I’ve changed A LOT. I know once an addict, always an addict. But I believe a lot of my addict behavior comes out when I don’t take my bipolar Meds and I start doing reckless thing and behaviors. 

I’m really stable on my Meds now. I make sure to take them everyday. I was put back on adderall a few months ago. It really makes a difference. Sometimes I just can’t get out of bed in the morning, or be motivated to do any work. It helps me stay on task at work for the most part. I mean my first full month I had a huge sales month so it’s safe to say I’m very productive. This versus the old me who wouldn’t even get out of bed for a job interview. I got calls all the time but I never went. It’s like I knew they wouldn’t be the right job for me. If I don’t like something in doing I’m definitely not going to take it, or even try. 

I feel like I’m in the right position for me. I’m such a sales whiz. My brother in law always says I could sell a coloring book to Stevie wonder. 

Also I’d like to give some kudos to my bestie. She is making a great move next weekend into her own house. I am very proud of her and all her accomplishments. I know it’ll be tight with money, but I’m always down to hang out at someone’s house versus going out. She has come very far since I’ve known her. Lived in a couple different places, but I know this is something she has been searching for fo a long time and I’m very proud of her. Also, I’d like to add I’m not posting this because she reads it. I’m posting this because my blog reflects what I’m thinking and feeling. I haven’t gotten much of a chance to tell her how I feel in this sense. IM VERY PROUD OF YOU MOMMA!!! GET YOUR HAPPINESS ON! I’m going to help her move next weekend, and although I’m a weakling that can’t lift much, I’ll help as much as I can. I think that’s really all that matters is that I’m there for support and help. Moving is stressful. I should know because I’ve done it a couple of times in the last few years. The last thing I want is for it to be super overwhelming. I’ll be there to destress her. 

My other bestie is going through a rough time right now. She recently sold her house and all her belongings in an effort to start over. She was staying with her parents who made things very hard for her. However she’s back there now. I worry about her because her parents will fly off the handle at any second and start picking on her for the smallest shit. 

I’m glad I somewhat have my shit together so I can be a good supportive friend. My friends have been with me through some of my hardest times. All i can do is be there for them right now and show them my worth as a friend. It feels good to not have my head all foggy with drugs. Also, not to miss out on things just because I was high. I couldn’t even tell you the reason I missed my best friends birthday last year. No clue. I’m sure she does, but I was absent for something really important. I’m trying to be accountable for things now. Show up when I’m supposed to, do what I’m supposed to, and in general just bring reliable. I haven’t been reliable in a long ass time. 

Also, I have a court date for tomorrow morning. I made an improper turn and got a ticket. So I’m taking it to court to see if I can get the points reduced. I’m super fucking nervous. I had to do this in the fall and they ended up calling me in a small room to offer me a plea, which I paid off the same day. I know what I did was wrong, and I’m not saying I didn’t do it. All I’m asking for is to have the points reduced. I’ll even pay more money! The money is not the issue. I mean it is, but I have a job so I’ll be able to pay it. But my insurance is already super high because of an accident I had 2 years ago. That’s not coming off my record until next year. I knew as soon as I made the turn I was going to get in trouble. Of course I did. I need some positive vibes!

Well I have about a half hour till I have to get ready for work. Think I’ll just watch some tv until I have to actually do it. Thank you all for reading! Thanks for sticking around during my hiatus. I hope to be posting a lot more. Happy hump day!! Hope everyone is having a good week! Till we meet again! Xoxo

It’s November!

I can’t believe it’s November. I’ve been through so many changes this year. Right around this time last year is when I was getting ready to move into my new place. My dad had kicked me out of his house and for the month of October I was staying at my friends house. Then I had finally found a place to move to, and had gotten the money and means to move there. Right now I’m feeling a little down on myself because I was so happy to be moving out on my own, have my own place and do whatever I want. When I had my own place, it’s like I was barely at home. When I wasn’t at work, I was always busy doing something else. This also marks one year since I got my precious dog. I love her so much and I’m glad she and I are finally in a safe place.

I know my addiction has effected her to an extent. She wasn’t taken care of the way she deserved. But now she is, and I’m glad I can give that to her. I constantly worried about the care she received when she stayed with my friend and I wasn’t there. My friend treats her cats like shit, so I could only imagine how she would treat my dog. (as she mentioned she hates dogs) I would find her locked up in my small ass little bedroom with her food dish completely filled. So she obviously wasn’t checking on her, she just gave her as much food as possible. Usually it was only for a night or two, but still. She does the same things to her cats. I had to share a bathroom with them in the basement. I was the one who cleaned out that litter box most nights because if I didn’t, she wasn’t going to. It was absolutely disgusting. The day that we moved I was going to use the bathroom down there until I saw the condition of it. It looked like she can’t cleaned it out in about 3 weeks. I could’ve barfed. Why even have animals if you aren’t going to take care of them? Oh I know why, because they’re not your first priority, your addiction is.

It upsets me that within a week, she’s completely forgotten all the conversations she’s had with me. I know she’s not serious about treatment. I’m heartbroken. For her to tell me I’m the only person she trusts, but she obviously doesn’t trust me that much. I feel like I might as well be the dirt on the bottom of her shoe. I’m just getting in the way of all her lies. So, just cut me out. She already deleted me off of her Facebook again. She obviously doesn’t want me to know what’s going on in her life. Probably because all the bullshit she gave me over the phone about not changing, was just a story. I read right through the bullshit anyway. I’m no use to her as a friend, as a resource, of anything until she finally admits all of her problems. You never want to see someone fall apart before you get the chance to help them, but she came for me to help and hasn’t said anything since. So, I don’t know what to make of it. Was she high at the time? Was it just for attention? I can’t believe anything a drug addict says.

Enough of that…. tomorrow I start my new job!

This week I’ll be training on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 10-4. Not too bad. There are a couple of different clients and different programs we all will be trained on and they want to see which one we respond best to in order to see which one we will be working on. Little do they know I’m a fucking whiz at all this shit so I should have no problems, and could probably be cross-trained on all the programs by the end of day 3 like a fucking BOSS BITCH.

I sent some letters to a couple of the girls in the treatment center on Thursday morning, hopefully they will be getting them today. It was before I found out that I got my job and stuff, so they’re a little outdated. But hopefully they’ll write back and I can give them some good news. I feel bad because I didn’t write them ALL back. But it’s hard to keep up with who is there, who left, that kind of stuff. So the two girls I did write I am almost positive they’re still there. I know when I got letters it always lifted my spirit, so I hope it does the same for them. Plus I dumped a bunch of glitter in their letters, just like I said I would. Then I had to tape the shit out of the envelopes so it wouldn’t leak. hehehe.

 A little bit about my break up…okay, so Good really is a great guy. He’s honest, sweet, caring. You know, all those things that I wanted in a guy since I typically date the losers who just use me. I was writing him everyday in treatment about how much I cared about him, how much I loved him, all of that. But then, I got out of treatment, and it’s like something changed. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s like a switch inside me flipped. My mom calls it the real world but I’m serious. I really don’t know what happened. I wanted to tell him right then and there when I first saw him that I felt differently, but I could tell he missed me so much, and had been waiting for that moment for a really long time, so I didn’t say anything. Then he helped me moved, and stayed over at the house for the weekend, so I still didn’t say anything then. He kept telling me things like I’m the only thing that makes him happy. I felt so much pressure from that. I felt pressure to keep our relationship together because if I want to see him, I have to make the 20 minute drive to go get him, then the 20 minute drive to drop him back off. He doesn’t have a car. I just got out of treatment, and I already landed myself a job.

He told me MONTHS ago that if he didn’t have a job by a specific date then he was going to start working with his brother. That date came and went 4 months ago, and he’s sat around and got nothing done. I’m resenting him for doing nothing with his life. All the mean while I go to treatment, I get out, get my life back on track, go out get a job, and now I’m about to start that job…..and you did what exactly? I can’t be his girlfriend and his care taker and tell him what to do, and how to get his life in order. Granted, he is younger than me, so if he wants to fuck around and do nothing with his life right now, he’s perfectly entitled to do that. But I don’t know why anyone wouldn’t want to man up and start earning so they can get out of the misery they complain about all the fucking time. I just could see myself resenting him because I’m moving forward with my life, and he’s standing still. Eventually that resentment would’ve turn into hate. I don’t want to hate him because he’s one of the sweetest guys I know. It absolutely killed him when I broke up with him. It’s something that I’ve been putting off for a while. But then I realize I’m sacrificing someone elses feelings for my own, and that’s not healthy.

So here I am, and there he is. He doesn’t have a phone, car, job, nothing. I can’t wrap my mind around that at all. He keeps on getting less and less as I continue to rise and gain more and more. It’s almost like he sits around and waits for things to happen. Much like my friend and her “trying to go to rehab” thing. They’re sitting around waiting for some great moment of clarity where everything will finally all make sense for them to do what they need to do.

LIFE DOESN’T HAPPEN THAT WAY. THERE IS NEVER A PERFECT MOMENT. YOU HAVE TO CREATE IT. GET UP AND DO WHATEVER IT IS THAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK FROM LIVING THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. YOU WON’T REGRET IT LATER. YOU WILL REMEMBER THAT MOMENT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

My Struggles.

So since I have been out of treatment I have been making some progress. I just recently started a new ADHD medication. I never had a problem with abusing my Adderall but since it is a narcotic it’s best that I don’t take it. So I started something else, I don’t even know what it’s called. It seems to give me a little boost of energy. I feel like I’m about 70 years old with all the different medications I’m on. I take a medication for depression, a stomach pill, an anti anxiety pill 3 times a day, something for seizures and mood stabilizers for my bipolar 3 times a day, and now this ADHD medication, and then something for sleep.

I went for a job interview on Monday. I should be hearing back from them today. I am getting a little nervous as time goes on and I don’t hear anything. I’m afraid to even take a shower and leave my phone for 15 minutes because they might call. I nailed the interview. After the interview was over the lady who interviewed me showed me around the office and introduced me to all the managers and showed me all the different departments. I’m not sure if they did that for everyone, but she also made it clear that everyone knew I worked for Google. They are looking to hire about 10-15 people and starting next Monday so, I really hope that I get this gig. It’s really close to home, it’s within my pay, and it’s flexible hours. Last week I only applied for like 3 jobs and I was hoping I got a call for this one because it was so close to home. It’s actually in the same building that I used to take classes in. So, fingers crossed!

 I just got back from taking a little coffee run. I am not supposed to be drinking a lot of caffeine ever since I was diagnosed with my stomach condition but let’s just be honest here, when have I ever listened to doctors? I definitely don’t drink an entire pot of coffee like I used to. What I normally do in the morning is heat up the rest of the coffee that’s left over from my dad in the morning. But today I really wanted a little extra, so I went out to Tim Horton’s. When I was in treatment, a few of the girls and I went to Washington DC. One of the first stops we made was next to a Tim Horton’s. We ran over there as fast as we could. DO YOU KNOW HOW GOOD THAT SHIT TASTED? It was like heaven. I will never, ever take Timmy Ho’s for granted again. I’ve only had it twice since I’ve been out.

(Speaking of DC, there’s the t-shirt from some dude who was selling them right off the subway. Quite the deal, only $8. Don’t mine the nerd glasses. hehe. Just wanted to show I got the biggest coffee they sold.)

You’d think I’d be going crazy on all the foods I’ve missed. However, my body just can’t handle food anymore. NO I DO NOT HAVE AN EATING DISORDER. After I was diagnosed with my stomach condition, I was told I could go on a bland diet, or a liquid diet. Since I don’t cook, I chose to go on a liquid diet. Then when I went into treatment, I went off of it since the food is pretty bland. The medicine I am on is a huge appetite suppressant, therefor I really can’t gain much weight. In fact, if I eat something that has a high fat content, or eat too much, I’ll get sick. This is why in the past year I’ve lost so much weight. Here’s just a reference for you.

Before:

After:

Being that overweight was one of the hardest and most depressing things that has ever happened to me. It started when I got sober the first time. I went to rehab and got fat. (which is natural, because your body is so weak from all the drugs) But then they kept me on this medicine that does nothing but make you eat, and constantly. I didn’t realize it at the time. My doctor kept upping my dose, and I was so dependent on it. I didn’t realize what was happening. When I first started working, I was working in a doctors office so I got to wear scrubs, so I didn’t have to wear anything form fitting, then I worked in a call center where I could wear yoga pants and t-shirts. I had no idea how big I had gotten. I didn’t have a social life, I never went any where. I didn’t want to take pictures of myself. I hid from the real world. I was so embarrassed.

Every once in a while I would have the urge to lose weight, but I would always want to cheat. Find some magical pill or supplement. I knew there was no magical way to do it. I had no idea that this medicine was doing it to me. NO CLUE. I just kept taking it, and taking it. My doctor kept on upping my dose. I had no idea she was the problem. Then one day, I had a seizure. It was from the medicine. You’d think she would discontinue it, but no she didn’t. She just gave me more medicine. This would ultimately be the end of me. She prescribed me a benzo, Adivan. A month later she would mix up the dose. I would end up taking the entire bottle and end up in a psych ward for 2 1/2 weeks. I would never see that doctor again.

It was a blessing in disguise. It let me to the doctor I have now. Who treats me properly. He realized that the medicine that gave me the seizure, that made me gain over 80 pounds, made me depressed, and feel worse, was the problem. He could reverse it. There was a pill that could treat my bipolar, my seizures, and help me with my weight. I thought, finally! Someone who will LISTEN to my concerns. I’ve been with this doctor ever since.

I thought since I was abusing the Xanax he was prescribing me that lead me into treatment he was going to discharge me as a patient, however he didn’t. He understood that this type of thing could’ve happened. I wasn’t just abusing the Xanax, I was doing far much worse things. Pretty much everything you could think of this time around. Last time I went to treatment it was just for Vicodin. This time, it was for EVERYTHING. You name it, I did it. I’m not ashamed anymore. This is my blog, this is where I share my truth. Sure, I don’t parade it around on my Facebook. Because not EVERYONE needs to know. I’m sure people have their suspicions on why I disappeared for a month. Fuck ’em.

I’m excited to get back to real life once again. I just got the call I’ve been waiting for. I GOT THE JOB!

I will be starting my job next Tuesday! I’ll be training Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 10-4. I’ll get a pay raise after 60 days. She said there is a lot of room for advancement. That is something I haven’t heard in a long time. Something I’m going to do differently in this job that I haven’t done in a long time is KEEP TO MYSELF. I always get buddy buddy with people. I can be friendly, but I don’t want to get caught up in other people’s business. I want to work hard, and keep to myself and hopefully that will help me keep on track to advancement.

WELL that’s all from me today! I am very excited. I got the call I was waiting on! Now I can take a shower. hehehe. Lots of love to everyone! xoxoxoxo

New job….again

Posting from my phone so I have to be brief but I got sick and had to leave work early and go to the hospital. They told me not to come back. (I was a 90 day temp, then would’ve gotten a full Union position) So I had been waiting to hear back from this other place that staffs all of the university of Michigan hospital jobs. A friend told me about their staffing company and I originally interviewed for a position that I didn’t end up getting. However I impressed them so much they called me in and hired me for another job, no interview necessary. I’ll be working Mondah through Friday 6:30 am to 2:30 pm! Right across the street from where I worked at Google. However they’re really conservative there so I have to be fake as fuck. I even have to wear light makeup. Sometimes I love my dark smoky eye look. Whatever I can do basic bitch makeup too and dress like a republican. (Sorry no offense I’m just making a statement since they’re very conservative as I said)

Also today was great because I got some rhinestone studded leggings. And also, who the fuck is Matt and why the fuck would I share my beloved coke with this bitch? 

  
Also maizy scared me because I couldn’t find her. She was sleeping underneath my coffee table. I bent down to take this pic so you can actually see her here, but when I was standing up she was totally hidden. 

  
My dad and I fought about me moving home because he said I’d have to get rid of my dog. No thanks. My roommate is planning on selling her house and moving so IDK where I’m going to end up in a few months. And if I don’t get my shit together soon I’m going to be flat on my ass. 

Evil gave us all quite a scare the other day. I had to call 911 and he’s been in the hospital since that night. Not in the best shape. I visited him. Then I called his nurse to tell him I couldn’t make it back up there because of the job thing and he actually talked to me. (He hasn’t been talking a whole lot) They transferred him to another hospital that’s better for his needs. I think I’m going to stay close to home this weekend in case we can visit. All of this made me realize he’s the only man I want to be in my life. I have to find a way to end it with good. My heart will only allow me to truly love one person. So there’s that. 

Update

So I have been in the hospital for a few days. I have a stomach problem that I can’t pronounce nor begin to type. Basically the way I have been treating my body sucks and it’s time for a life altering change. Oprah style. 

  
Change everything I eat completely. An entire lifestyle change. It’s going to kick my ass. Well it already has being cooped up in the hospital. Today I actually feel better so I’m going to the movies in the middle of the afternoon! I fell asleep so fast and hard that I woke up energized as hell. 

  
Selfie. Although it’s warmed up so I’ll probably have to change again. Oh whatever will I wear in that giant closet of mind. Woe is me. Jk. 

I’m just trying to embrace the future for what it’s worth because it’s not a promise. The future is a gift that’s why this is the present. How’s that for knowledge motha fuckas? 

  
Oh this blog wouldn’t be complete without memes!

  

    
 
That is all. Soaking up some sun then going inside to change and see Jurassic Park! And get high. 

Life changes, changing life

I’ve been thinking a lot about what’s going to happen with this move. Living here and meeting the people I’ve met has been a great experience for me. I was thrown out on my ass with no place to go. I was taken in by a good friend of mine who helped me find the place I’m being evicted from. Sure, it’s not the greatest place or somewhere I ever imagined myself living, but it taught me a very important lesson. It showed me that instead of crying and whining about shit, just pick yourself up off the floor and do something about it.

I’ve never denied to anyone that’s called me out that I’m spoiled. So my entire life someone has always cleaned up my messes. But this time it was different. No one wanted me. I realize now that I would’ve done the same thing if I was them. I had to learn that at some point in my life I have to grow up and figure shit out on my own.

I’m so grateful for my best friend for letting me live with her. I feel like it will be really good for the both of us. She’s been through so, so, so, SO much and she definitely deserves a break. I feel like I can be that break for her. Right now I’m unemployed but I plan on paying her what I can for rent and bills, I’m hustling in so many ways for a job and money. I love her kids like they are my own so she also just got in a built in baby sitter. No more struggling with all the kids to run simple errands any more boo! 😉

If I could EVER have a roommate, it’d be her. She’s said the same thing. We just don’t like people. LOL I’m am hopeful for the future and know this will be a great experience for the both of us. We have been through hell and back over the past 25 years, so this just kind of makes sense. No joke I am literally crying as I type this right now. That’s how strongly I feel about this.

Anyway, my dad works for Ford and told me there might be an opportunity for me to get in and work there as well. It would start off as a temporary position, but could lead to full time. It’s also a UNION job which I fucking support the union 90t8w 985 3028%. They have been great to my dad who found this job way too late in life, but found it after he divorced my mother so all this money is 100% his and I’m very happy for him. No offense to my mom or anything, she’s my best friend, but she was always very controlling with their money because she made it known she made more. I jokingly call her my personal shopper now but she’s not taking money away from anyone (like my dad). she actually just came over here and dropped off a couple of dresses.

My mom also got me these Hello Kitty candies that I’m about to smash. I am sick AGAIN so candy will definitely make me feel better. Right? Right!

In other news, I talked to the prosecutor about the case involving my car. He is sending me a letter that I will take to the Secretary of State that allows me to get a REAL LICENSE PLATE BACK ON MY CAR. I have had a paper plate in my back window since this incident happened which was mid March. It’s annoying as fuck because they can pull me over at any time. Also, when it rains they can’t see it. But yayyyyyy! I’m finally getting my plate back. The ONLY thing I’m a little upset about is that I’ve had the same plate number since I got my first car and I won’t have that one anymore. 😦 I’m thinking positively though because something bad has happened with every single one of my cars. So maybe the plate number was a bad omen? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

I have to find a job. Unemployment and prostitution is great. Um what? haha Just making sure you’re still with me there. No but seriously, this is boring. I know I will regret that when it’s like 80 degrees outside and I could just sit around and get tan all day long and get paid for it. Buttttttt I like working. I’ve worked since I was 14, so that’s over half my life! My “friend” recently got a job so he’s never around to hang out with either. My bipolar has recently been keeping me down and not wanting to look for jobs, so I can’t find anything if I’m not looking. After I post this blog I’m going to get back on track. I already have the tabs open and ready to go. Plus I’m waiting to hear back from my dad about where to apply at his work. Cha ching $$$ I also have to start organizing my stuff and start packing it up soon. I’ve decided I’m going to move my stuff at night so they don’t know what’s up. I’m a shady bitch like that. Fuck you and this piece of shit. Ahhhh, I love swearing.

Also for extra motivation I have the House station on Pandora blasting through these subs with the bass going. Who gives a fuck if I piss these neighbors off, right?? RIGHT!

(click on image to make larger because these songs are stellarrrrrr)

Alright that’s it for me today. I’m going to rest and drink a lot of water and try to fight this thing. I have a good combo of over the counter meds I can take that will kick this things ass. A doctor I used to work for told me about it because I didn’t have insurance for a while so he always helped me out. Till we meet again….

You messed with the wrong girl

I hardly ever check my mail. However I was babysitting for my friend yesterday and when she came home she was going through her mail. So when I came home I decided to check my mail too. Well thank god I did because what did I find in my mail? A nice lovely eviction notice form my landlord. Yes that’s right, they want me out. It’s a “just cause” eviction too, meaning I didn’t do anything wrong, they just want me out. As soon as I opened it I just started laughing. I know this isn’t a typical response to an eviction notice, especially to someone who doesn’t have a job or any savings.

What I think these ass clowns don’t realize is that by evicting me they just started a war. Since I called the housing department at the end of March, that means the entire time I lived here since November the house wasn’t up to code. Translation: they weren’t allowed to collect rent. Second translation: I get all that money back. Third translation: Fuck you.

I could fight them and stick around here but I do NOT want to live in this house anymore. With all the problems I’ve had in the past, I don’t see it getting any better. Especially with the summer coming up, all the bugs, and how hot it’s going to get in here. (The winter was brutal with how cold it was in here, even with a new furnace!) I don’t want to have to deal with these slumlords anymore.

Normally I would be freaking out, but I have a backup solution. My very amazing best friend (the one I just wrote about in my last blog) has offered her entire basement up to me as a spot to live. Her brother used to live down there, so it’ll be perfect for me. The entire basement is open, but then there is a room that is closed off for a bedroom. So I’d be able to set up all my furniture that I have in my house now in the basement and then set up my bedroom too. We haven’t discussed payment or anything, but we’ll get into that later.

Her ex has until the end of the month to get the rest of his stuff out of the house so I can’t move my stuff in until the beginning of next month. They gave me until June 12 to move. She has an office that’s right down the street from where I live now, which also happens to have a shit ton of moving boxes. So what we devised a plan. I’m going to start using some of those boxes and start packing some stuff up here and store it at her warehouse/office. (I hate clutter so I don’t want to keep a bunch of boxes here) Then after the first of the month I can pack up the rest of the house, rent a moving truck and load up the house here, take it to the warehouse and load up there, then drive it to my new home and unload!

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we know the reason, sometimes we don’t know it right away, and sometimes we never know. But it’s quite possible that me getting kicked out of my dad’s house and forced to live in this piece of shit taught me a lesson. It taught me how to take care of myself, how to live alone and independently, and to grow the fuck up. It taught me that I don’t have to rely on my dad to go grocery shopping every weekend for food if I want to eat, I have to do that stuff. I have to clean the bathroom if it’s dirty, all these things that I should’ve learned a long time ago, but never did.

I feel like this place helped me grow up. Despite all the bullshit and disgusting shit I had to deal with here, it did do something for me. So when I said everything happens for a reason, getting thrown out of the house I lived in my entire life was a blessing in disguise.

Now I am just waiting to hear back from this attorney I contacted about getting all this back rent because legally I’m entitled to it. (Hence why I titled this blog you messed with the wrong girl.) Most of the other people who live in this neighborhood are all junkies. (This town has a baddddddddd heroin problem, which is why I am kind of glad I’m moving back to my old hometown) Junkies usually don’t go that route because they usually do something wrong in order to get evicted, or have something to hide, or even priors that would make them look bad in court. Guess what bitches? My record is clean, I’ve always paid my rent in full and on time, my checks have always cleared, and you have NOTHING ON ME. I have a LOT on you. Like how your maintenance man wouldn’t fix my house for MONTHS, until YOU told me to call the housing department myself because YOU (meaning my landlord) live in California and couldn’t really do much from there.

I did want to go a lot farther with this buttttttttttt a friend of mine works at a country club and she’s working today and told me to come up there for lunch, ON HER!!! Uh, duh. So I have to take a shower and stuff because I’m still in my jammies! Oh and the friend of mine that I’m speaking of is the cousin of my ex that I just had thrown in jail. Ironic. Whatever. My economics teacher was wrong when she said there’s no such thing as a free lunch. Suck it professor!