Blahhh

My dog decided to jump on my bed at 4:00 this morning. She thought it was time to wake up and play. This is not what I wanted when I have a 10 hour work day ahead of me. Oh Maizy, you’re so crazy. 

Nothing really new has been going on with me. I decided to meet a guy off a dating site. He was nice, but I don’t think it’s going to work out. We might hang out this weekend, I’m not sure. This weekend my dad is going out of town so I’ll have the house to myself. Thank god. Sometimes it’s just so nice to be home alone. 

I need to start working on saving my money. After my dad blowing up at me yesterday like I’m 12 years old again, I’ve realized I need to get a game plan in order so I can move out. I can’t stand living here anymore and unless I start planning and saving, it’s not going to happen. I need to start making more money. 

I wish I still had my old place. Even with all the shitty things I had to deal with, at least I had my own place. Somewhere I could go and do whatever I wanted. However, thats how I fell off track and got into drugs pretty badly. Maybe I’m not ready to live on my own again. I don’t have much impulse control. 

I have been really responsible about making sure I take my Meds again. I’ve been staying on a pretty regular schedule as far as sleep goes. Except for today because my dog woke me up. That little stinker.

Also, at work yesterday we were doing our fall schedule. I got suckered into working every Saturday and having Friday’s off. I’m indifferent about it right now. I know it’ll be fine for a while but I’m not sure how much I’ll like it later. I told them I want at least 1 Saturday off a month. That’s the deal. My coworker was so happy I decided to do it so he didn’t have to. I feel like it’s whatever. I’ll do it until I don’t want to anymore. Saturday’s are a pretty easy day. I get to take all the leads, all the phone calls. Plus my boss isn’t there. Also, FREE FOOD. 

Plus I only work with one other person and they leave an hour before I do. My last hour of work I usually just watch Netflix. That’s what I did yesterday too. Since it was the last day of the month, no one called, they all just came in. If you’re in the market for a new vehicle, the closer to the end of the month the better. I call people with incentives and as the year goes on, the incentives get better and better as well. Just a handy tip! 

Ahhh im so hungry and I’m broke as a joke. The only thing I can afford today is a pack of smokes and a Gatorade. I’ve actually cut back on pop and only drink diet Gatorade now. My Meds usually make me super thirsty so I need to make sure I have something tasty to drink at all times. Plus, pop goes warm and doesn’t taste good. I can have a Gatorade on my desk all day and it still tastes just as good. 

Anyway, I think I’m going to end here. (So cute, Maizy just heard a doorbell on tv and went to the window and is barking. Good guard doggy!) Like I said, nothing too interesting going on with me right now. Have a good almost Friday everyone! 

It’s almost September!!

Where has the summer gone? I’m glad I got a job in mid June so that I didn’t have to sit around all summer. However it would’ve been nice to be unemployed and laying out in the pool all day. 

I was going back reading some of my old posts from last summer. It’s like I remember everything. Although I was constantly on drugs, my life was a mess, my love life was a mess. I’m glad I have simplicity in my life right now. I have work, friends, family. That’s all I need right now. Oh and of course my dog! 

Yes! I still have my dog. She adjusted very well last fall to her new home. She loves having a back yard to play in! It was very hard to leave her for a month when I went a away last year. Everyone in rehab had pics of their kids and I had some of “my baby” AKA my giant dog. I’ve found so much comfort in her. It’s impossible to have a bad day when you have someone that looks at you and loves on you. I had a bad day yesterday and when I came home to see her sweet face, I left all the bullshit at the door. 

Such a lady. 

Some other good news! My sisters wedding is just a little over a month away. She’s getting married October 8. They’re flying in from Arizona and getting married in Michigan. There will be a lot of out of towners coming in. I am of course the maid of honor. My sister wrote me in rehab and said she was very close to kicking me out of her wedding because I was on drugs. When they came in town, I was busy babysitting evil that I didn’t even spend any time with her. So she was really disappointed in me. 

I’m glad she didn’t have to do that because I’m really looking forward to being her maid of honor. I’ve never been in a wedding before, let alone someone’s maid of honor. They did a bachelorette party in Vegas in which I did not attend. I know my sis just wanted to have a good time and not worry if I was comfortable or not. So I decided to opt out. But boy do I miss Vegas. Plus I wouldn’t want to go with my sis anyway. The only way I’d go back is with some of my good girlfriends. 

Everything at my job is going well. It’s been a slow sales month, so I’m nowhere near the number of cars I sold last month. People just aren’t buying. I have a lot of follow ups in the next couple of months. As I mentioned I had a bad day yesterday. I didn’t have any leads (no one new to call) and I was getting upset with my boss for calling me out on it. He kept saying you really called all those people? Like do you think in lying? Then my boss added me on Facebook. Still trying to decide if this was a good or bad idea. 

He’s pretty cool, a couple years younger than I am. He tries to act like a bad ass at work and give me a hard time. However he does tell me what a great job I do pretty frequently and I like hearing it. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt passionate about work. My last couple of jobs were POINTLESS. So I started making up excuses and missing work frequently. With this job I don’t do that. I leave early sometimes (with permission) when my family has been in town and stuff. 

Now as far as my addiction goes, I would be lying if I said I was 100% clean. I still smoke pot, which I didn’t at first. But it’s not harming me. It’s helping me. Whenever I get stressed or anxious, I smoke. That’s way better than snorting a bunch of pills. I still take pills every once in a while. Lately I haven’t been able to tolerate them and they make me sick. So I’ve chilled out on them. But I figure if I do shit every once in a while, know my limits, and tell my friends what I’m doing so they can keep tabs on me, then I see nothing wrong. I’ve changed A LOT. I know once an addict, always an addict. But I believe a lot of my addict behavior comes out when I don’t take my bipolar Meds and I start doing reckless thing and behaviors. 

I’m really stable on my Meds now. I make sure to take them everyday. I was put back on adderall a few months ago. It really makes a difference. Sometimes I just can’t get out of bed in the morning, or be motivated to do any work. It helps me stay on task at work for the most part. I mean my first full month I had a huge sales month so it’s safe to say I’m very productive. This versus the old me who wouldn’t even get out of bed for a job interview. I got calls all the time but I never went. It’s like I knew they wouldn’t be the right job for me. If I don’t like something in doing I’m definitely not going to take it, or even try. 

I feel like I’m in the right position for me. I’m such a sales whiz. My brother in law always says I could sell a coloring book to Stevie wonder. 

Also I’d like to give some kudos to my bestie. She is making a great move next weekend into her own house. I am very proud of her and all her accomplishments. I know it’ll be tight with money, but I’m always down to hang out at someone’s house versus going out. She has come very far since I’ve known her. Lived in a couple different places, but I know this is something she has been searching for fo a long time and I’m very proud of her. Also, I’d like to add I’m not posting this because she reads it. I’m posting this because my blog reflects what I’m thinking and feeling. I haven’t gotten much of a chance to tell her how I feel in this sense. IM VERY PROUD OF YOU MOMMA!!! GET YOUR HAPPINESS ON! I’m going to help her move next weekend, and although I’m a weakling that can’t lift much, I’ll help as much as I can. I think that’s really all that matters is that I’m there for support and help. Moving is stressful. I should know because I’ve done it a couple of times in the last few years. The last thing I want is for it to be super overwhelming. I’ll be there to destress her. 

My other bestie is going through a rough time right now. She recently sold her house and all her belongings in an effort to start over. She was staying with her parents who made things very hard for her. However she’s back there now. I worry about her because her parents will fly off the handle at any second and start picking on her for the smallest shit. 

I’m glad I somewhat have my shit together so I can be a good supportive friend. My friends have been with me through some of my hardest times. All i can do is be there for them right now and show them my worth as a friend. It feels good to not have my head all foggy with drugs. Also, not to miss out on things just because I was high. I couldn’t even tell you the reason I missed my best friends birthday last year. No clue. I’m sure she does, but I was absent for something really important. I’m trying to be accountable for things now. Show up when I’m supposed to, do what I’m supposed to, and in general just bring reliable. I haven’t been reliable in a long ass time. 

Also, I have a court date for tomorrow morning. I made an improper turn and got a ticket. So I’m taking it to court to see if I can get the points reduced. I’m super fucking nervous. I had to do this in the fall and they ended up calling me in a small room to offer me a plea, which I paid off the same day. I know what I did was wrong, and I’m not saying I didn’t do it. All I’m asking for is to have the points reduced. I’ll even pay more money! The money is not the issue. I mean it is, but I have a job so I’ll be able to pay it. But my insurance is already super high because of an accident I had 2 years ago. That’s not coming off my record until next year. I knew as soon as I made the turn I was going to get in trouble. Of course I did. I need some positive vibes!

Well I have about a half hour till I have to get ready for work. Think I’ll just watch some tv until I have to actually do it. Thank you all for reading! Thanks for sticking around during my hiatus. I hope to be posting a lot more. Happy hump day!! Hope everyone is having a good week! Till we meet again! Xoxo

Quick update

I just got the WordPress app working on my iPhone. What I wanted to say is I’ve been thinking a lot today about how I’ve alwayssss wanted a dog. I was never allowed to have one because my dad wouldn’t let me. But when I moved out last year, she’s the first thing I got. We’ve grown close over the past year. I’ve gotten to know her personality more, but I’ve also noticed why they call them mans best friend. LOYALTY. This dog is so loyal to me. So, I’m sure a lot of you have children, but my dog is my child. I always knew I never really wanted kids, turns out all I wanted was a dog. I’d be a horrible mother, but I’m a great dog mom. I say I’d be a bad mom because there’s a huge chance if I had a kid, they could end up like me. That’s one thing I don’t want to put someone through. Mental illnesses and addiction. Noooo way. I may never get married. But your animals are loyal and loving whether your single or not, if you have a mental illness or addiction. She can totally sense when I’m having a bad day, if I’m in pain, sick, going crazy. 

  
Don’t you just want to squish that face? I love having this app on my phone because I can blog a lot more often. On the go, more day to day adventures. I don’t have a job right now (will explain later, maybe) so there’s lots of time for cuddles, kisses and job hunting! 

  
I’ve applied for tons of jobs. All different types. I hope that by applying now, most companies are waiting until the beginning of the year to hire. So hello, happy new year, give me a new job! 

I am so excited to put this year behind me. I have wasted so much time and money being unhappy this year. I need to get my mojo back. And by mojo I mean my happiness. This, my happy place. I used to be so good at tuning out the bullshit and going inside my own space that I was just happy in. My little bubble. Was it all the drugs though? Guess I’ll have to find out by trying to get back my little happiness bubble. 

  

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween everyone! I survived my first night out being sober in a “wet” environment. It’s not as bad as everyone makes it out to be. Not for me at least, but the temptation isn’t there. I’m not a big drinker. Some of the people I was with were on some stuff, but again, not tempted. I guess it’s because I know and realize how bad my addiction is and I really have no desire to add fuel to its fire. I guess my willpower is strong enough to just be comfortable in my surroundings. The people around me can do whatever they want, get as fucked up as they want, and I can just do me. I’m obviously still going to have just as much fun as everyone else, and I sure as hell did, let me tell you 😉

My day started off pretty casual. I hung out at my friends house for a little bit. I got there maybe around 3ish. Not sure. She left work early because she wasn’t feeling well, but felt okay by the time I got there. I made sure she was in good spirits and still wanted to go out before I got there. She made sure she wanted to go out no matter what. We dicked around for a little bit. We went to Walmart and got our kitty accessories for our costumes, then some food. We smashed then dropped her son off, then met her brother and his friend up at a restaurant near her house. (and my old house)

A little back story, her brother and I have always had this weird, flirtatious thing going on. We don’t necessarily like each other. Only in certain social situations. However the last time we were together I turned him town (this was right before I went to rehab, and I was certainly not in any condition to go home with anyone, so I give myself major props for turning him down, even though I didn’t necessarily want to.) So the last couple of weeks I have been trying to get him to hang out with me, however he’s been a total douche bag. For some reason, his rejection has been hurting my feelings, despite the fact that I know he’s a complete asshole. It still hurts when someone turns you down. ANYWAY, we met up with him and within the first half hour we were already hardcore flirting with each other. (Is this bad considering I broke up with my boyfriend only the day before, and the last time we hooked up I had just broken up with my boyfriend the day before as well? Oh well.) Sometimes it just makes you feel good when you look good, you feel good, you know you’re doing good, and someone’s picking up what you’re putting down, even if they’re an asshole. I guess that makes it even better.

After the group had a few drinks, we went back to my friends house so we could get ready. We then went to a corn maze because we had free tickets. I DID NOT WANT TO GO. Okay, something about being stuck in a giant maze in the dark doesn’t sound fun at ALL. So naturally we got lost. There were SO MANY CIRCLES. I got ready to go out in my dress and everything before the corn maze so I had leggings and my friends boots on. Thank god I did because it was a muddy ass disaster. My friend and I ended up getting separated from the boys. We got super lost and decided to just go back the way we came. (Which ended up being hard as fuck.) We couldn’t take very long anyway because in order to not pay cover at the bar we had to get there before 9. Mission accomplished.

We thought that the bar would be hopping considering it was almost Halloween. It wasn’t. I encouraged my friend to get drunk anyway because of the great drink specials. It seemed to work. No decent guys there either. Total bummer. Maybe next time? I’d post pictures of my friend and I together, but I only post pictures of myself to protect the identities of all my friends.

Here’s a picture of the dress I wore: (It was totally snug the last time I tried it on. It’s so loose now. It’s a Betsey Johnson)

After we let the bar, we decided to go back to my friends house and play a little beer pong were the heavy flirting continued. What can I say? I dressed up as a sex kitten! (not to be confused with a sexy kitten, hehe) It just comes with the territory. Somewhere around 1:00 it was time to leave, however I wasn’t quite ready to go, if you know what I mean…. 😉

I got home somewhere around 2:30 where my dad bitched me out about how my dog kept waking him up and shit. Uhhhh, why don’t you just put her in my room where she sleeps every night? The same place she goes where she doesn’t wake you up? DUHHHH. He’s being a total douche. I’m almost 30 years old and I really don’t have to explain who the fuck I was with. If you really want to know, I can tell you in exact detail WHO I was doing, yes WHO I was doing, not WHAT I was doing, but since I’m your little girl, I’m pretty fucking sure you don’t want to hear that. I know it’s because I’m “fragile’ just coming out of rehab, but dude, I’ve done this before, I know what my limits are. I know what to do and not to do. I got this.

So that’s the tale of last night. I don’t have any plans for today, actual Halloween. I’m pretty tired. I didn’t get to bed until pretty late then my dog woke me up pretty early. I didn’t have any time to buy her a costume, because she’s so big I’d have to order it online. So instead I found my old ladybug costume from circa 2006 and put it on her. She didn’t seem to mind at all.

I’m just going to be rocking out in this tee all day that I bought for Halloween last year (which I am swimming in because it’s so big on me, but it’s all I have!) with my orange and black eyeshadow on. Peace out dudes!

Puppy love & practical jokes

Just a quick post while I wait for good whose in the dispensary. (yay!) My dog missed me SOOOO much she made me cry when I got home. She kept jumping up and down and was almost crying in excitement. I snapped some cute candids of her hamming it up for the camera this morning. 

   
 
My mom is coming over with my aunt who will be meeting Maizy for the first time! Yay! More family reunion time! 

Here’s a funny pic of my cat and his new lover. (My roommate/best friend of 25 years hid this doll in my room to scare me when I got home. It worked) 

  
  
Creepy!!!!

Never create a lock on your phone while high….

Because even though you enter it twice, and you think you entered the same one you always enter, you don’t, or you won’t. Then guess what happens? You’ll have to reset you phone at the fucking Apple store because iTunes crashes on your computer because it’s not a Mac. Fuck you for being stoned. No, just fuck you for not being able to type in a correct 4 digit pin you are able to remember when you were stoned. Because I typed it in twice correctly. So, that’s what I spent my morning doing.

I took my friend to work at 8 AM, then I just got ready, got coffee and gased up, and waited outside the mall for it to open. When I got to the Apple storeat RIGHT WHEN IT OPENED, I was already 30 mins behind and had to wait. I couldn’t believe it. Hence why I hate going to the Apple store.

How I felt at the Apple store:

Now I’m just waiting for all my apps to slowly redownload because I have a shitty internet connection.

Well, at least that shit is SECURE. All those nudes I had of other people are now just in my iCloud. Haha, I have shit on everyone. Exes, friends, ex friends, yeah, everything goes to iCloud mother fuckers. And I have 20 gigs of extra storage space so, watch the fuck out when you send me shit, because although I would never, ever resend or damage you with that information, it does it saved in my super secret secure storage cloud and phone. But now my phone was wiped clean so now it’s just in lala storage iCloud land.

Anyway, today looks something like this. After I got my phone fixed I dropped some money off to my dad for my car payment. I talked to my old neighbor who went on and on about how great I look and all the weight I lost. I let her go on and boast for a minute because damn, it feels good to hear. Yeah, I’m a little full of myself these days, but wouldn’t you be too? I’m not letting it go to my head, I’m being modest. I’m not going around dressed half naked. I’m just being more expressive in my clothing because now I can actually wear clothes again, which feels nice. (instead of just t-shirts and yoga or sweat pants)

I don’t know where the day is going to lead me. It’s only 12:00 and I’ve accomplished a lot, much like how I did yesterday. I must say, I’m a pretty productive girl these days. Must be in the air here or something.

Anyway, here’s a cute picture of my dog I just took now that my IPHONE WORKS AGAIN!!!!!!!!

Awwwwwwww puppy faceeeeeeeee I LOVE YOU MAIZY! My fur baby! ❤ ❤

Oh I jazzed up my header. Will be looking into layouts soon. You guys know I’m nerdy and techy so I invest a lot of time into the layout of my blog, which I have slacked on. Even that new header was a jumping off point. I got better shit. I just wanted that Hello Kitty beach picture up there honestly.

LIARS and tigers and bears, oh my!

Clever title, huh? I had to include a picture of Dorothy like that as well. So I managed to find myself in a situation where I’ve been lied to. I even found out the truth and this person still wants to lie. I know I’ve been played for a fool before, and this person knows that. But if that person really thinks I’m dumb enough to get sucked up into that tornado again (sticking with the Wizard of Oz theme here) they have another thing coming.

There’s one thing that I will never allow to happen ever again, and that’s let a man come in between me and my friends. If I catch you in a lie, just admit it. But if you want to keep this thing going and deny it, then we have a mother fucking problem. A BIG mother fucking problem. Who do you think I’m going to believe? Your lying ass, or someone I’ve known my entire fucking life who has always told me the truth, even when it hurts and I don’t want to hear it. SURVEY SAYS: I’m definitely not believing a word you say.

I know no one’s perfect, everyone makes mistakes, blah, blah, blah. But when I flat out ask you something, you look me in the eyes and tell me a lie, then swear on your kid’s life that what you’re telling me is the truth, keep going on and on that what you’re telling me is the truth, like I’m not going to investigate this and discover that you’re lying? I just don’t know how to proceed with the situation.

There is slightly more to this story that I’m not sharing because specifics don’t matter, and it could quite possibly be that he’s not lying about what ACTUALLY happened. But what was SUPPOSED to happen is what he is lying about still. This might be very confusing for you to follow since you don’t know the details but again, I’m not willing to disclose that because it’s not important to you. This is a place for me to get all my thoughts, anger, aggression and feelings out, so I’m doing just that.

He’s working right now, so as much as I want him to come over and scream at him to his face, I have to respect the fact that he’s working which is more than I can say for myself right now. What I am NOT going to do is wait for him to explain himself face to face, cave in, forget and forgive easily just like that. Like how I would’ve before. But since my last “relationship” (if you could call it that) where I got totally fucked over and my world got flipped upside down, I am not going to put my feelings on the back burner just because I’m infatuated with the newness of our relationship. There really isn’t going to be much of a relationship if I don’t get some answers.

This is how I am going to be towards him for a while, except replace the W with a B.

Well it’s 3:30, I have to hop in the shower, exchange a dress I bought on Saturday, pick up my prescriptions, then I’m going out to dinner later with my mom, uncle and his wife who I haven’t met yet! So I am looking forward to that! I’m most certainly not going to let this, or any other bullshit ruin my day.

Before I go, I hung out with my dad yesterday and he let me borrow a couple of fans until I move since I can’t open half of these windows and I don’t have air conditioning. I thought that I needed them, but apparently Maizy needed them more. How cute is this? No matter where I move this fan, Maizy will flop down in front of it.

Day drinking

Well I had a grand ole time day drinking with my bestie today. I’d post some selfies of us, but I only post pics of myself and keep my friends identities private. Well day drinking turned into day shopping. I really just came on here to post all the cool shit I got today.

OHhhhhhhhhhhh and I wanted and excuse to show off my day drinking outfit:

(I had my outer space leggings on with them which made the outfit so much more bad ass)

My grand total on all my shopping purchases today? $15 mother fuckers! Suck on that! Maybe you should get drunk and go shopping more often because apparently everything is cheaper that way. Anyway, I am waiting for my boo to get back here. He’s staying overrrrrr. My bestie I hung out with tonight is such a doll face that she actually took my laundry home to her house (since I don’t have a washer & dryer) and is going to do it for me! What a sweettttttie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ❤ ❤

Well I’m going to watch a movie and cuddle with this cute little (well not so little) fuzz ball!

Sunday Morning

I love this song. I figured a music video for the song “Sunday Morning” would be a good way to kick off my Sunday morning blog. I’m surprised I got out of bed before 1:00 PM today considering how tired I was yesterday. I couldn’t even hang with my homies, I had to go home and pass out because of how tired I was! I’m pretty sure getting 3 hours of sleep on top of smoking a shit load of weed all day didn’t help my cause much. Whatever.

Yesterday the guys came and worked on my house a little more. They’re done ripping walls and shit out so I finally vacuumed in the house. These construction guys have made such a mess. There’s drywall, insulation, nails and screws EVERYWHERE. Not to mention all of the stuff they ripped out of my house, they didn’t even dispose of it. They left everything in my yard. The same yard my dog goes out and plays in. There are nails and shit sticking of of some of those boards too. They reassured me they’re coming back today to do more work.

I really like this guy that is working on my house. My landlord hired him since the other man he hired to do maintenance and repairs is the one who never mentioned any of these problems to my actual landlord, hence why I called the housing department to get the house ininspected\\He asked me yesterday if I can put in a good word for him to my landlord. I said absolutely! So I had to call my landlord anyway, so in my voicemail I made sure to say something along the lines of, “Thank you so much for hiring Ron. He’s been so great and has done such great work on my house. I hope you keep him around because he’s awesome.) I currently no longer speak to the other man he has working for him because he’s the reason I had to get this housing inspection in the first place.

My landlord lives in California, and I live in Michigan. He obviously can’t be available to come over to one of the homes if there’s a problem which is why he has this man Chuck working for him as the manager/handyman. Since I moved in here back in November I had been making miscellaneous complaints to Chuck about things that needed to be repaired in the house. The biggest one at the time was the front door. My DTE bill went up over $400 during the winter because my front door wasn’t hung right, and had about 1 1/2 inches of space above the door that cold air would blow right through.

One time I even got my dad over here when Chuck came so Chuck couldn’t try and work one over on me. My dad kept asking him, “Would YOU put this door on your house? Look at this thing!” Chuck’s response was, “Well, I just put new laminate doors on my house.” Uhhhh, you didn’t answer the question bro. He avoided every question he was asked, as well as talk in circles about everything, so nothing was ever done.

I finally got so sick of paying my rent on time every month and being ignored for having legit issues on my home that I rent, so they’re responsible for making the repairs. My landlord in California had NO knowledge of this (or so he claims, and I sort of believe him, I’m still deciding) and he’s the one who told me to call the housing department for the city to schedule an inspection. Sure enough it failed inspection with a 26 page report.

They had 30 days to complete all the repairs on the list. Tomorrow will be day #30 and I have already scheduled the inspection for 2:00 in which I know they won’t pass. My landlord also threatened me with eviction if I tried to with hold my rent from him for this month while they were making the repairs. I looked up my rights and responded back to him that he can’t evict me for that, and he can’t threaten me with eviction either. I told the building inspector what he said to me and he told me when he comes to look at the house tomorrow he will also give me some legal advice about what we do next.

So now it’s 6:30 PM. I realized I never finished my Sunday morning blog. I managed to take a shower and look decent. The guys never showed up to do any work on my house today. (Big surprise there) My mom asked me to come over and help decorate cookies.

I got pretty creative in my decorating as you can see. I didn’t have much to work with as far as different sprinkles and shit but I got jazzy with what was available. I’m now over at my friends house drinking a hard cider and smoking a W’s (weed and wax)

I just never know where the day is going to take me….

I never review my blogs before I post them but I’m sure by reading them you can see my bipolar and ADHD come out through my words about my day and shit. Filled with a million thoughts, highs, lows, up, down, sideways, going here doing that.

Ah well these guys are about to play some video games. I may stick around for a little more 420 action but I’m pretty toasted, baked, high, fried, whatever. But I think I might go home and veg the fuck out. It sounds real nice man.

Perhaps I will blog again later. We shall see. Peace out homies. Enjoy your Sunday. (Which in my world is the day of rest.)

Okay and now that I’m home I’m going to rape Netflix and watch the new episode of Nurse Jackie, and of course eat some of these delicious cookies. Mmmmmmm cookies.

Also, I wanted to post these pictures of Maizy I snapped last night. I got my Coach scarf and put it on her for a couple photo ops so she would look like a designer doggy. I think she pulled it off nicely. My little doggy fashion model.

Unemployed life

This afternoon I totally blew off going to the secretary of state and decided to kick it with my bestie instead. She’s going through so much right now and I just wanted to be there for her in any way that I can. Today we enjoyed the nice spring day and the lovely trampoline her kiddos got for Christmas. It was so fun and carefree. We got this song stuck in our heads and listened to it a couple of times while jumping on the trampoline….

It was good to have a day like today.  A day to just forget all of our problems, worries, struggles and whatever else is going on and just enjoy the day. Plus being around kids does always cheer me up. (well, not all kids…some kids.) The way they see the world is so innocent and pure, it kind of makes you want to look at life the way they do sometimes. Am I getting to soft here? What the hell is going on?

I also finally got this today. My friend ordered them for us a while ago and she forgot to give mine to me. (If you are interested in these, or having something else made, please leave a comment and I will send you her contact information.)

I hung out with an old friend last night who was very helpful in this court battle I’m currently involved in. He gave me a lot of “inside” information on how I can make the other party responsible for damages without having to go to small claims court, but to make it part of his restitution instead. That way any money he receives becomes my money until I am whole again. That’s all I want is to be whole again. I’m leaving my feelings aside because they always complicate everything, and taking this approach will help me get over my feelings a lot faster.

I saw this quote today and realized that I don’t need to be careful around men, but with everyone. For some reason people just LOVE to fucking talk about me. I am questioning all of my friendships right now. It’s not easy for me to open up about certain things that happened in my life. It’s like a huge part of my life I don’t talk about to just anyone, but I almost feel sometimes that I’m lying to people because they don’t know that part of me. I feel like if everyone knew my past they might understand me a little better. People might also have a little bit of respect for all the things I’ve gone through and struggled with and I’m still living and breathing to tell the stories. I think whenever I do find my next job, and going forward, I’m going to be a lot more selective in who I talk to, if I choose to talk to anyone at all.

Anyway I don’t really have anything else to say right now. I’m tired and I want to catch up on my reality TV and sleep. I have to go to the secretary of state tomorrow for sure because my temporary plate expires tomorrow because of some ASSHOLE. Before I go, look how CUTE my baby looks in Hello Kitty!!!!!! 

Peace out bitches!