I had such a shitty day yesterday. If we are friends on Facebook, you probably saw my statuses and could tell something was up. I talked to my ex and he pretty much still has a hold on me. I found out he was in the area the other night. I felt compelled to say something even though I knew I would regret it. Why can’t I give up? Why can’t I let someone who is no good for me out of my life. My head tells me one thing, but my heart tells me another.
My heart always wins when it’s head versus heart. ❤
As humans all we want is to be loved. Even me. I feel like I’ve been broken and hurt so many times that even when I meet a nice guy, I run. I rarely meet nice guys though. That’s the first problem. My friend and I were discussing how nice guys are just too easy. We go after the bad boys because they’re more of a challenge. I guess that’s what its all about. The challenge. Anyway, switching gears to what I wanted to talk about.
After how horrible I felt yesterday, I really wanted to curl up in bed all day today and feel sorry for myself. That sounds pathetic, but my blog is about honesty. I couldn’t possibly do that though because it’s Friday, the weather is fantastic, and I should move the fuck on. Sometimes being ADHD isn’t all that bad because I have the ability to get the fuck over myself when I know I’m acting like a baby over some bullshit. I decided to turn my frown upside down and SMILE because it’s Friday.
My bestie called me and asked if I wanted to hang and watch her tater tots for her while she goes on a work dinner. I had to wait until the construction men got to my house before I could leave. Sure enough I get here, and she’s not even here! I called her and I was like WTF you’re not even here? I’m breaking in. (Not really, I have a key, but I still like saying that.) Since she decided to go to this event tonight I also had to bring some dress options for her to wear. I had to keep in mind that this is a WORK thing and I can’t dress her like a whore. I brought her the most mature dresses I could find. Hopefully one of these dress options work.
She just got home with her 3 kids which are pretty much my kids too. I’m glad we have each other to cheer each other up. We have been friends since we were 4 and we’re about to be 29 so I’d say she’s more of a sister. I then got a call from another one of my friends that asked me earlier in the week to hang out tonight. I of course forgot. She did go on for quite a while and made me feel like shit about it. She also told me she had the opportunity to go out of town the same weekend of my birthday because it was cheaper, but she didn’t because of me. At the end of our conversation she said well you won’t be seeing me for a while because I’ll be busy.
Really? Someone from her past recently came into her life and ever since that happened I knew I was going to take a back seat to their newly rekindled “friendship.” People forget things. We talked all this afternoon before I made these plans and she never mentioned it once, or the day before hand. Honestly, I think she’s just looking to pick a fight. I can’t stand when people behave this way. It’s completely unnecessary and I am not interested in entertaining this negativity.
To me it sounds like jealousy. I didn’t do one thing for you, because human beings forget things, and you tell me you’ve already replaced me out of your life. I can’t be everyone’s everything. I’m done entertaining this.
Well, my friend is making nachos while the kiddos play outside and I want to just get off the internet machine and enjoy the rest of my day. Put all this unnecessary drama behind me and just move the fun on. My birthday is in 5 days.
welcome to my happy place 