I was sure if I should make a new post or update the other one. But I don’t think the email subscribers would be notified if I didn’t make a new post.
I got all my things accomplished today. I woke up, had my morning chill time as I already posted about. I felt pretty high and hungry by the time I got to work. I had to meet my mother down the street to pick it up, and she didn’t have it secured in a bag or anything. I was super nervous to drive with it.
But I made it to work successfully! Everyone raved about it, much like last time. Here’s the final product.
I had some mac & cheese, walleye, chicken, potatoes, green beans, and 2 pieces of my moms cheesecake. Everyone wants her to make some for different events. I really wish I knew how to cook. I do make really really cute cupcakes. I buy the cutest mix and frosting, then experiment with food coloring and make them pink and purple. Or sometimes red and green for Christmas. I need to start doing more of that. All these posts come up on my Facebook about my old tie dying business. For what little resources I had at the time, I did a pretty good job at networking and getting my stuff all over the world! (Yes, WORLD) I know I’m capable of great success. I was just in a really bad place last year and I’m glad I found a job I love. (I feel like I say that all the time)
But when you have such a huge past, it’s hard to return to normal life. Like fitting in at a job, actually having the drive to go to work, and perform. When something is up to me how much extra money I make on commission, I grind hard.
Speaking of commission, they might roll out something new. If you have a personal best that month, you get an extra 10% bonus. Also, if the team as a whole improves, you get another 10%. I hope this happens. I get at the first of the following month, but since they won’t have final numbers in time for our payday on the 2nd, we have to wait until the 9th. I’m a little bummed about this. It was a really slow month for us in our department. For example, last month I had 17 cars and thus month I think i only have like 11-12. A lot can happen the last few days of the month though. Those salesman work really hard (and late) to hit better numbers for the month. They’re also having a contest with if we sell enough of 2 different cars as a whole, everyone who sold those cars gets a bonus. Lots of opportunities to make money. That’s what I like. I could see myself being here for a while, and hopefully eventually moving up in the company. I feel like I’m on the right track and the possibilies are endless.
It’s hard living with many mental disorders. People who live with them know what it’s like. Sometimes we just don’t feel “normal”. I have to take medication multiple times a day in order to do anything, or to be able to fall asleep. I hate it. I have these little rituals I have to do everyday in order to either worry about how much sleep I’m going to get in a night, and I have to take my Meds by a certain time, so I can’t go out when I have to work in the morning because it messes with my routine. It’s so stupid. Then in the morning I feel like I have to be awake like hanging out for a while so I can chill for a bit while my morning Meds kick in.
I specifically don’t take my adderall everyday because some days I don’t feel like doing anything. However, I feel like I’d be a hell of a lot more motivated to get things together. Like I usually don’t take it Sunday’s. Even though I don’t usually leave the house, I should still be around the house doing things like laundry, or cleaning out my room. But instead I lay in bed all day and veg out on tv. I know that can’t be good. Like I can only get out of bed and do shit when I have it in me? It freaks me out that it has that much control over me. Although I wish I was naturally motivated and had big life goals I’m trying to accomplish. But I just settle with living in the now and staying away from drugs.
I’m on a good path, I am excited what the future holds. That’s the first time I’ve honestly said that in a while. I truly think next year is going to be a great one for me. I just want to set some minor goals and work toward them. Like id like to be moved out. I’m barely affording shit right now. I could cut back, I know. But I’m not motivated to move just yet. I’ve been back almost a year. (October will be a year since I got out of rehab and moved back home) it worries me that if I live alone,’I’ll be left to my own vices again and it could go horribly wrong. It already did once, and there hasn’t been enough time to not go back to those behaviors.
Also, happy national dog to my sweet rescue dog Maizy!
This is her at my friends house. I just finished get appointment when my friend called this afternoon. I was out in her neck of the woods so I popped over with the pooch. Her son loves my dog so it was really cute to see him and get together. I got my pups nails trimmed, she got her Meds for fleas, heart worm, ring worm, and hook worm. These sound disgusting which is why I want to prevent her from it. She got vaccinated today too.
Last year she only got a 1 year rabies vaccine, however this year she got one that’s good for 3 years. She still has to get another shot in a couple more weeks. I had to spread them up because today’s visit already cost me $81. If I added the other thing on it would’ve been well over $100, easily. So I declined. They told me in January she’s due for a teeth cleaning. They take her for the whole day and she has to be knocked out. I think she’d act really silly all high on Meds. She loves pot. One bad thing (among so many others) about being a (former) pill popper is that you frequently drop your shit on the ground. Maizy luckily doesn’t like pills. She will eat just about anything. She did eat her pill tonight right after she ate her dinner. (Or else she’ll get sick)
I think I’m in for the night. I was supposed to clean my car out, but it’s right around the time I start my nighttime rituals that it might have to wait. I have to get up fairly early tomorrow because I decided to pick up a shift. Since I like my morning chill time, I have to wake up even earlier. I don’t have to start getting ready till 7:30, howver my alarm is set for 6:04. I’m just weird like that. Do any of you have any morning or evening rituals? Things you have to do before you go to bed or get started with your day? Or am I just weird and all alone on this?
Alright yall, I have to find something to wear to work tomorrow and probably move my car.
To idles ✌🏻️
welcome to my happy place 