29 on the 29th!

I am officially 29 years old! I’m not sure what time I was born at, but I’m pretty sure 29 years ago I outside of my mother’s womb by this time. I didn’t have anything on my schedule other than to get the estimate on my car. A good friend of mine told me last night he was going to come with me, but he’s been bailing on me lately so I figured he would today too. Anyway, to my surprise he didn’t. I went and picked him up and we went to the dealership. Afterward all I wanted to do was go home and hang out. I didn’t want to spend my entire birthday running around all over town. At this point I started to get a little pissed, but in the spirit of my birthday I just decided to let it go.

Finally we get to my house and I noticed there was a pink present on my door step. I had no clue who could have possibly left it there. I doubt my ex even knows it’s my birthday today. Anyway, I get all excited and come inside with my friend to open it. I go straight for the card first and it’s from him. How sweet is that? He totally had me out running these errands to make sure his friend set up the surprise in time. So I got roses and some hello kitty stuff. How thoughtful.

He’s in a really, really, really bad mood right now because he got some really bad information about his son who he has been trying to see for a year now, and his baby momma is being a bitch about letting him see him. So, I think I’m going to try and cheer him up, as well as thank him in the form of a “movie.” We all know what THAT means. 😉 ❤

Also, thank you to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday! It means a lot to me! I feel so loved and appreciated, even though this means I’m a little closer to death.

Offically 29!

It’s currently 12:09 AM on the east coast, and the current date is Wednesday, April 29. This means it is officially my birthday!

I was a little depressed earlier because the only plans I have on my birthday so far is to go to the dealership body shop to get an estimate on the damages on my car. Wooooo! Kind of funny how 2 years ago I was celebrating my birthday in Arizona and the day after my birthday I came home and picked up that car for the first time.

Instead of staying in a shitty mood I decided to put up all the pink streamers that were sent to me from a friend. They’re supposed to be for my birthday party but, I wanted my house to look pretty for my actual birthday too. I’m lazy as hell right now otherwise I’d snap some pics. I will definitely be blogging tomorrow about how my birthday went, Hopefully it goes great

I’m putting a lot of pressure of myself this year since it’s my “golden birthday” and all and this is supposed to be the best year of my life. So, I really want it to be! I want new experiences, new adventures, try new things, meet new people, expand my horizon I guess you could say.

Like I said I will post more later after I enjoy my entire birthday day. I’m going to try and get some sleep so I can wake up early and enjoy my birthday to the fullest extent!

Sunday clarity

I woke up with a clear head this morning of what I need to do in order to move on with my life. Just simple, move on. Put the past in the past, life is a gift, which is why it’s called the present. I know that sounds cheesy as fuck, but it’s so true. I am tired of being hurt, then feeling sorry for myself. It’s just time to pick up and move the fuck on. I have to have faith that in the end this thing called KARMA will catch up to those that deserve it.

I’m smart, pretty, fun, with a good sense of humor, and I will always be ME. I have been feeling a lot more confident with myself, and my weight loss too, and I should embrace that. I shouldn’t feel like shit over something that happened in the past, and how totally fucked up and wrong it was on the other persons part. I need to stop trying to get into the other persons head. I’ll drive myself crazy trying to make sense of things that don’t make sense. They’re just wrong. I can’t justify something wrong into something right in my head.

I’m not the same person I was even a year ago. I was still really depressed over my weight gain, I didn’t feel pretty or confident. I didn’t want to go out or be seen, I didn’t want to go shopping to do anything to make myself seem attractive because I didn’t feel like it at all. Now I feel totally different, and I should celebrate my looks, embrace my life.

That’s right! 17 more days until April 29 in which I will be turning 29 years old. My golden birthday! (Your golden birthday is supposed to be your lucky year, when you turn your age on your birthdate.) I just have a lot of change going on right now in my life and it’s hard. I need a new job, a new man, new men, money, and just to be happy and carefee again. People like me, you wouldn’t ever think it’s hard for someone like me to open up, because I am (obviously) a very open book, but I don’t like NEW. I knew that I did need a new job however because I did NOT like the way things were going at my old job, the people, the stupid everyday bullshit, the unfairness, the pure disgust I have for other employees. Yeah. I’m glad I’m out. Other than for financial reasons.

I want to scream, cry, laugh, hide, run, play, all these different emotions at once. Some parts of my life I am totally content with, and right now I don’t know how I’m getting food, or my next rent check, or any of the other numerous bills that are stacking up right now, however I am taking it one fucking day at a time.

Anything further than that is too much. Even talking about this right now is starting to make me a little panic-y. Next subject.

I haven’t done laundry in about 2 weeks so later on I’m going to mosey on over to my mom’s house and get that done. I don’t know what else we’ll get into while I’m there but it’s always a blast, even if it’s a lazy Sunday doing laundry hanging out with our dogs. I’m glad I have a good relationship with my mom. ❤ It’s good to remind myself of all the GOOD things I have going on right now. Positive mindset.

Also, tonight is the premiere of the 7th and FINAL season of Nurse Jackie! I am so excited it’s back! I went back and caught up on the entire show in anticipation for the final season. I can’t wait to see how they spin this.

Tune in tonight at 9 PM! If you don’t have Showtime they’re offering a free week this week. (At least for Comcast subscribers) Also, don’t I have the cutest dog ever???