Waiting to go home

I have one hour left of work. So I’m hoping making a post will make the time go by faster. I can’t update from my work computer so my phone will have to do. I’ve been in such a blah mood today. 

It all started in the morning. I usually get up at least an hour before my alarm so I have time to chill out before I actually get ready. Well today, I slept all the way through my alarm. I sprung out of bed and couldn’t believe I actually slept that late. I didn’t fall asleep at 8:30 PM like I usually do. I went over to my friends house to start organizing in preparation for her big move next week. I got home around 8:30, took my Meds and laid down. Next thing I knew it was time to get ready for work. I was so bummed I didn’t have any morning chill time. 

Today I was late for work because I had court this morning. I got a ticket a few weeks ago, and they gave me 2 points for it. I decided to fight it. As soon as I woke up I thought, “I wonder if it’s too late to reschedule this?” Because I didn’t get my morning chill time, I was going to reschedule court and still go into work late. But I did the responsible thing and went like a grown up. Or maybe it was just that my adderall kicked in. Whatever reason, I’m glad I took care of my responsibilities. 

I had to sit and wait for about 2 hours at the court house before they called me in. However, while I was waiting a girl came and sat down directly next to me. I recognized her. She is the same girl whose been stalking my best friend, spreading lies about her, smashed out her car windows and called CPS on her. I know she knew who I was too. As soon as she had the opportunity to switch seats, she did. The entire time she was next to me, she didn’t say a word. However, when she moved, she started striking up convos left and right with all the people around her. I wanted to call her out SO BAD, but this girl is legit crazy and I didn’t want to start a war. It just would’ve been soooooo nice to say all the things I want to say. But I resisted. 

Tomorrow I’m off work because I’m working Saturday, however I still have a busy day. I’m hoping to wake up early and get my morning chill time. I have to meet my mom at 11:30 to pick up a cheesecake. We’re having a potluck at work tomorrow because my coworker is leaving. All of my coworkers requested my moms cheesecake. (I brought it for the last potluck and everyone LOVED it) So I’m coming into work around noon tomorrow. Then I’m going to try and swing over to pick up my birth control pills. Then make my way home to take my precious pup to the vet. I have to leave the house by 3 in order to get her there on time. 

The first part of my day at work was pretty productive. Then once I got all u appointments in for the day, I literally gave up. It’s like I hit a wall. For the last 3 hours I’ve been playing games on my phone. One of the salesman just called me out for a smoke break. I’m supposed to stay at my desk because no one else is here. I’ve just decided that since I only have 30 minutes left im going to binge on….

Anyway, I think I’m going to end here so I can concentrate on my show. Thanks for reading! I am going to binge on Chinese food when I get home. 

Fail

Today I was supposed to have a totally productive day and get all this shit done and did I? Nope. My day feels kind of like:

In the meantime I did manage to lose my phone, just another disaster after another I guess with me. I keep on making mistakes left and right that I know will bite me in the ass but, for some reason I just don’t care? I’m not sure. Maybe too much positivity?

(Being the ADHD person that I am, I stepped away from the computer and came back a little bit later which I often do when I write my blogs.) Oh well my phone has been found. It was in the rain ALL DAY. So I freak out thinking out shit another thing I am going to have to pay for right? NOPE. SO FUCKING LUCKY. This $1 case I bought on eBay from some random country in Asia was worth it. Just a flimsy ass piece of plastic. I put stickers on it and rip them off to jazz the case up but you get the point:

Perhaps all that positivity I was just saying might be too much is actually helping. Karma in a good way. Oh so anyway, the shit I was supposed to do today I’m going to do it tomorrow. I stayed out late last night and I shouldn’t have. Especially when it’s the one night I have something to do in the morning, while I don’t have a job and I completely just failed. Oh well, it’s not like these fuckers are getting their money any way. So what if it’s late? I’m paying the mother fucking $35 late fee in escrow, bitch! It’s just buying me time really.

Anyway I was supposed to hang out with an old friend tonight but I totally bailed. Maybe because I haven’t showered or am still wearing my makeup from yesterday and give 0 fucks about today? Part of me is just a little scared to open up this box because I know it’s trouble considering the circumstances under which we met. But I am not like most people. Anyone with a mental illness knows this. We just don’t meet nice people, and fall in love, and everything’s perfect. Or maybe I just haven’t found the right one who understands my craziness? Until then, I seek out crazy.

Saying it, well, typing it, I guess makes it sound like wow, why am I doing this but none of it is ever meant to go anywhere. But he and i have stayed in contact since this incident which happened a couple years ago. Minimal contact, but contact. We haven’t actually seen each other, just spoken to each other online and on the phone. I actually talked to his mom once too, oops. Anyway, I bailed on him today because I know I have to get this shit done in the morning and if I hang out with him, I won’t. I know myself too fucking well. So possibly tomorrow night? We shall see.

I know he really needs some positive influence in his life, and I was once that for him and I hope I still can be. So that’s what I’m hoping we can still have. I see him, and this other guy just making careless mistakes that keep getting them in trouble. I feel bad. It’s like I want to help.

Anyway, my mom was nice enough to say home from work today so I’d have a place to go while they worked on my house. The guy was super cute and I felt totally embarrassed answering the door in my PJ’s which I realized was a see through zebra zip up and I had a hot pink lace sports bra underneath and leggings. I bet he was really happy to see that. I guess I shouldn’t have slept soooooooo late. Oops. He probably thinks I’m a total slut because I have handcuffs on my nightstand. A little child gave them to me at a kids birthday party without me knowing (he put them in my purse) and I found them the next day. This is where I decided they should go. Hey, you never know 😉

(Sidenote: Yes, that is duck tape. I “refinished” them. They look awesome.)

Also, my mom got me these super cute Hello Kitty hair clips. Score!

I think someone is exhausted from playing with Mr. Big today. She literally dragged me up the porch of my mom’s house today because she was so excited. She is so fucking strong it’s redic. I had to jump like 4 stairs in flip flops with this dog on a leash carrying my huge ass purse and my laptop case. Whew! Taking her anywhere is such a task because she gets so excited and she’s so strong. She definitely works us both out!

Okay so tomorrow is Wednesday. I’ll try and get my shit together. *Sigh* I have to babysit tomorrow, I forgot. Shit. Even though my IPhone reminded me like hours ago. I still forgot. And it’s on like 3 calendars. I’m such a space cadet. I need to get off the internet.

Update 11:40 PM:

 

When you don’t know your next move….

I’m literally backed into a corner right now and fucked in every way possible. I don’t know where my next dollar is coming from. But since this is my happy place, and I try to maintain peace and happiness, I decided when you don’t know what your next move is, hug your pet and watch your ultimate favorite TV show that makes you laugh and the episodes never get old.

See examples below:

I have a lot of fucked up shit to deal with tomorrow that requires me to run all over this town, and a couple others. Money, my father, home repair, leaving the home, what the shit. Who cares, drowning it out with happiness.