It’s almost September!!

Where has the summer gone? I’m glad I got a job in mid June so that I didn’t have to sit around all summer. However it would’ve been nice to be unemployed and laying out in the pool all day. 

I was going back reading some of my old posts from last summer. It’s like I remember everything. Although I was constantly on drugs, my life was a mess, my love life was a mess. I’m glad I have simplicity in my life right now. I have work, friends, family. That’s all I need right now. Oh and of course my dog! 

Yes! I still have my dog. She adjusted very well last fall to her new home. She loves having a back yard to play in! It was very hard to leave her for a month when I went a away last year. Everyone in rehab had pics of their kids and I had some of “my baby” AKA my giant dog. I’ve found so much comfort in her. It’s impossible to have a bad day when you have someone that looks at you and loves on you. I had a bad day yesterday and when I came home to see her sweet face, I left all the bullshit at the door. 

Such a lady. 

Some other good news! My sisters wedding is just a little over a month away. She’s getting married October 8. They’re flying in from Arizona and getting married in Michigan. There will be a lot of out of towners coming in. I am of course the maid of honor. My sister wrote me in rehab and said she was very close to kicking me out of her wedding because I was on drugs. When they came in town, I was busy babysitting evil that I didn’t even spend any time with her. So she was really disappointed in me. 

I’m glad she didn’t have to do that because I’m really looking forward to being her maid of honor. I’ve never been in a wedding before, let alone someone’s maid of honor. They did a bachelorette party in Vegas in which I did not attend. I know my sis just wanted to have a good time and not worry if I was comfortable or not. So I decided to opt out. But boy do I miss Vegas. Plus I wouldn’t want to go with my sis anyway. The only way I’d go back is with some of my good girlfriends. 

Everything at my job is going well. It’s been a slow sales month, so I’m nowhere near the number of cars I sold last month. People just aren’t buying. I have a lot of follow ups in the next couple of months. As I mentioned I had a bad day yesterday. I didn’t have any leads (no one new to call) and I was getting upset with my boss for calling me out on it. He kept saying you really called all those people? Like do you think in lying? Then my boss added me on Facebook. Still trying to decide if this was a good or bad idea. 

He’s pretty cool, a couple years younger than I am. He tries to act like a bad ass at work and give me a hard time. However he does tell me what a great job I do pretty frequently and I like hearing it. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt passionate about work. My last couple of jobs were POINTLESS. So I started making up excuses and missing work frequently. With this job I don’t do that. I leave early sometimes (with permission) when my family has been in town and stuff. 

Now as far as my addiction goes, I would be lying if I said I was 100% clean. I still smoke pot, which I didn’t at first. But it’s not harming me. It’s helping me. Whenever I get stressed or anxious, I smoke. That’s way better than snorting a bunch of pills. I still take pills every once in a while. Lately I haven’t been able to tolerate them and they make me sick. So I’ve chilled out on them. But I figure if I do shit every once in a while, know my limits, and tell my friends what I’m doing so they can keep tabs on me, then I see nothing wrong. I’ve changed A LOT. I know once an addict, always an addict. But I believe a lot of my addict behavior comes out when I don’t take my bipolar Meds and I start doing reckless thing and behaviors. 

I’m really stable on my Meds now. I make sure to take them everyday. I was put back on adderall a few months ago. It really makes a difference. Sometimes I just can’t get out of bed in the morning, or be motivated to do any work. It helps me stay on task at work for the most part. I mean my first full month I had a huge sales month so it’s safe to say I’m very productive. This versus the old me who wouldn’t even get out of bed for a job interview. I got calls all the time but I never went. It’s like I knew they wouldn’t be the right job for me. If I don’t like something in doing I’m definitely not going to take it, or even try. 

I feel like I’m in the right position for me. I’m such a sales whiz. My brother in law always says I could sell a coloring book to Stevie wonder. 

Also I’d like to give some kudos to my bestie. She is making a great move next weekend into her own house. I am very proud of her and all her accomplishments. I know it’ll be tight with money, but I’m always down to hang out at someone’s house versus going out. She has come very far since I’ve known her. Lived in a couple different places, but I know this is something she has been searching for fo a long time and I’m very proud of her. Also, I’d like to add I’m not posting this because she reads it. I’m posting this because my blog reflects what I’m thinking and feeling. I haven’t gotten much of a chance to tell her how I feel in this sense. IM VERY PROUD OF YOU MOMMA!!! GET YOUR HAPPINESS ON! I’m going to help her move next weekend, and although I’m a weakling that can’t lift much, I’ll help as much as I can. I think that’s really all that matters is that I’m there for support and help. Moving is stressful. I should know because I’ve done it a couple of times in the last few years. The last thing I want is for it to be super overwhelming. I’ll be there to destress her. 

My other bestie is going through a rough time right now. She recently sold her house and all her belongings in an effort to start over. She was staying with her parents who made things very hard for her. However she’s back there now. I worry about her because her parents will fly off the handle at any second and start picking on her for the smallest shit. 

I’m glad I somewhat have my shit together so I can be a good supportive friend. My friends have been with me through some of my hardest times. All i can do is be there for them right now and show them my worth as a friend. It feels good to not have my head all foggy with drugs. Also, not to miss out on things just because I was high. I couldn’t even tell you the reason I missed my best friends birthday last year. No clue. I’m sure she does, but I was absent for something really important. I’m trying to be accountable for things now. Show up when I’m supposed to, do what I’m supposed to, and in general just bring reliable. I haven’t been reliable in a long ass time. 

Also, I have a court date for tomorrow morning. I made an improper turn and got a ticket. So I’m taking it to court to see if I can get the points reduced. I’m super fucking nervous. I had to do this in the fall and they ended up calling me in a small room to offer me a plea, which I paid off the same day. I know what I did was wrong, and I’m not saying I didn’t do it. All I’m asking for is to have the points reduced. I’ll even pay more money! The money is not the issue. I mean it is, but I have a job so I’ll be able to pay it. But my insurance is already super high because of an accident I had 2 years ago. That’s not coming off my record until next year. I knew as soon as I made the turn I was going to get in trouble. Of course I did. I need some positive vibes!

Well I have about a half hour till I have to get ready for work. Think I’ll just watch some tv until I have to actually do it. Thank you all for reading! Thanks for sticking around during my hiatus. I hope to be posting a lot more. Happy hump day!! Hope everyone is having a good week! Till we meet again! Xoxo

I’m back and doing great

I don’t even remember the last time I updated but it’s been months. I thought since I’m doing better I should update. A few months ago I finally found a job that I like. I had a couple of jobs here and there over the span of time I left Google but nothing that challenges me the way Google did. I went from being at the top of my game, to back to rehab. 

I have to say rehab did me a lot of good. I’m on better medications, I have a good job that I’m really good at. I have a small group of friends and that’s really all I need. I’m still living at my dads house and I want to get out so bad, however I don’t trust myself right now. 

I got rid of all the negative influences in my life. I finally let evil go. (He’s referenced a lot in this blog as evil) I finally decided he was bringing me down and that I had to cut ties. Even if it means he hates my guts and never wants to speak to me again, I’m okay with that. I can’t save everyone. I need to focus on myself. He just took up way too much of my time and energy. 

I did start dating someone else I met, however he turned out to be an asshole. Same pill popping, alcoholic type I usually go for. He actually told me how fat and disgusting I was. Then he started to get angry and threaten me. He even called my new job. I cut ties with him a long time ago. I’ve learned I don’t have the best choice in men so I’m going to continue to be single. I’ve been putting myself out there again though. Went back on this dating site. I think I’m ready to start over again. I guess we’ll see how that goes. 

My job is fantastic! I work in the business development center for a car dealership. I schedule appointments for the sales team, customer service, call customers about promotions the dealership has each month. I get commission whenever I schedule an appointment or sell a car. Last month was my first full month and I sold 17 cars. This month has been incredibly slow for car sales and I’m one at like 7 right now. I know it’s not me, people just aren’t buying. Next couple of months seem promising with follow ups and what not. 

Basically what I’m trying to say is….

It’s taken me a long time to get stable and establish myself somewhere so I’m finally conforming to society again. 

Speaking of work, I have to put my phone down and start getting ready for work. But I hope all my followers are still here and continue to follow my journey! 

My Struggles.

So since I have been out of treatment I have been making some progress. I just recently started a new ADHD medication. I never had a problem with abusing my Adderall but since it is a narcotic it’s best that I don’t take it. So I started something else, I don’t even know what it’s called. It seems to give me a little boost of energy. I feel like I’m about 70 years old with all the different medications I’m on. I take a medication for depression, a stomach pill, an anti anxiety pill 3 times a day, something for seizures and mood stabilizers for my bipolar 3 times a day, and now this ADHD medication, and then something for sleep.

I went for a job interview on Monday. I should be hearing back from them today. I am getting a little nervous as time goes on and I don’t hear anything. I’m afraid to even take a shower and leave my phone for 15 minutes because they might call. I nailed the interview. After the interview was over the lady who interviewed me showed me around the office and introduced me to all the managers and showed me all the different departments. I’m not sure if they did that for everyone, but she also made it clear that everyone knew I worked for Google. They are looking to hire about 10-15 people and starting next Monday so, I really hope that I get this gig. It’s really close to home, it’s within my pay, and it’s flexible hours. Last week I only applied for like 3 jobs and I was hoping I got a call for this one because it was so close to home. It’s actually in the same building that I used to take classes in. So, fingers crossed!

 I just got back from taking a little coffee run. I am not supposed to be drinking a lot of caffeine ever since I was diagnosed with my stomach condition but let’s just be honest here, when have I ever listened to doctors? I definitely don’t drink an entire pot of coffee like I used to. What I normally do in the morning is heat up the rest of the coffee that’s left over from my dad in the morning. But today I really wanted a little extra, so I went out to Tim Horton’s. When I was in treatment, a few of the girls and I went to Washington DC. One of the first stops we made was next to a Tim Horton’s. We ran over there as fast as we could. DO YOU KNOW HOW GOOD THAT SHIT TASTED? It was like heaven. I will never, ever take Timmy Ho’s for granted again. I’ve only had it twice since I’ve been out.

(Speaking of DC, there’s the t-shirt from some dude who was selling them right off the subway. Quite the deal, only $8. Don’t mine the nerd glasses. hehe. Just wanted to show I got the biggest coffee they sold.)

You’d think I’d be going crazy on all the foods I’ve missed. However, my body just can’t handle food anymore. NO I DO NOT HAVE AN EATING DISORDER. After I was diagnosed with my stomach condition, I was told I could go on a bland diet, or a liquid diet. Since I don’t cook, I chose to go on a liquid diet. Then when I went into treatment, I went off of it since the food is pretty bland. The medicine I am on is a huge appetite suppressant, therefor I really can’t gain much weight. In fact, if I eat something that has a high fat content, or eat too much, I’ll get sick. This is why in the past year I’ve lost so much weight. Here’s just a reference for you.

Before:

After:

Being that overweight was one of the hardest and most depressing things that has ever happened to me. It started when I got sober the first time. I went to rehab and got fat. (which is natural, because your body is so weak from all the drugs) But then they kept me on this medicine that does nothing but make you eat, and constantly. I didn’t realize it at the time. My doctor kept upping my dose, and I was so dependent on it. I didn’t realize what was happening. When I first started working, I was working in a doctors office so I got to wear scrubs, so I didn’t have to wear anything form fitting, then I worked in a call center where I could wear yoga pants and t-shirts. I had no idea how big I had gotten. I didn’t have a social life, I never went any where. I didn’t want to take pictures of myself. I hid from the real world. I was so embarrassed.

Every once in a while I would have the urge to lose weight, but I would always want to cheat. Find some magical pill or supplement. I knew there was no magical way to do it. I had no idea that this medicine was doing it to me. NO CLUE. I just kept taking it, and taking it. My doctor kept on upping my dose. I had no idea she was the problem. Then one day, I had a seizure. It was from the medicine. You’d think she would discontinue it, but no she didn’t. She just gave me more medicine. This would ultimately be the end of me. She prescribed me a benzo, Adivan. A month later she would mix up the dose. I would end up taking the entire bottle and end up in a psych ward for 2 1/2 weeks. I would never see that doctor again.

It was a blessing in disguise. It let me to the doctor I have now. Who treats me properly. He realized that the medicine that gave me the seizure, that made me gain over 80 pounds, made me depressed, and feel worse, was the problem. He could reverse it. There was a pill that could treat my bipolar, my seizures, and help me with my weight. I thought, finally! Someone who will LISTEN to my concerns. I’ve been with this doctor ever since.

I thought since I was abusing the Xanax he was prescribing me that lead me into treatment he was going to discharge me as a patient, however he didn’t. He understood that this type of thing could’ve happened. I wasn’t just abusing the Xanax, I was doing far much worse things. Pretty much everything you could think of this time around. Last time I went to treatment it was just for Vicodin. This time, it was for EVERYTHING. You name it, I did it. I’m not ashamed anymore. This is my blog, this is where I share my truth. Sure, I don’t parade it around on my Facebook. Because not EVERYONE needs to know. I’m sure people have their suspicions on why I disappeared for a month. Fuck ’em.

I’m excited to get back to real life once again. I just got the call I’ve been waiting for. I GOT THE JOB!

I will be starting my job next Tuesday! I’ll be training Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 10-4. I’ll get a pay raise after 60 days. She said there is a lot of room for advancement. That is something I haven’t heard in a long time. Something I’m going to do differently in this job that I haven’t done in a long time is KEEP TO MYSELF. I always get buddy buddy with people. I can be friendly, but I don’t want to get caught up in other people’s business. I want to work hard, and keep to myself and hopefully that will help me keep on track to advancement.

WELL that’s all from me today! I am very excited. I got the call I was waiting on! Now I can take a shower. hehehe. Lots of love to everyone! xoxoxoxo

Can’t sleep but think about this

I’m supposed to be getting up in liken an hour for this job thing but I just had my tooth done yesterday and I really feel shifty. Not to mention I think I’m getting sick. My dog is already sick. It’s so uncomfortable to watch her. Also, evil called me as soon as I got out of the dentist chair. We only talked for like a second. I tried getting a hold of him later but was unsuccessful. Then I fell asleep so early I had all these crazy thoughts of him escaping and then us back when we met but it was all different and weird. For those of you just tuning in he’s currently in a mental hospital which is where we met each other 3 years ago in October. Not this same one but same situation, kind of. I don’t know what to think all I know is that ever since I had the dream he escaped I can’t do anything until I know he didn’t. Plus I don’t feel good and I have to go back to the fucking dentist again today. Joy!!!

No but seriously that clip I posted got me thinking about this August versus last. Mines pretty fucked up, yours? I’ve watched someone I love deeply try to die twice, I’ve been too fucked up myself and fell down the stairs twice, I chipped a filling on gum, I’m leading on this sweet innocent young man known as good for my true love known as evil until evil can get his shit together. I’m not really sure what the fuck my life is right now but it’s nothing great. I really hope evil gets the letters I wrote him. They should’ve come by now, or today. Man, my mouth is starting to hurt. All I have is this weak ass Motrin. Down the shoot it goes.

People Pleaser

I just had a phone interview for this job that I really want. I felt bad because my phone kept breaking up and losing signal. But once we started, I blew their mother fucking minds. Of course I did. I’m me. So what did I do? I NAILED IT BITCH.

I entitled this blog people pleaser because if you’re going to interview me over the phone for a sales position, I’ll sell the fuck out of myself. I’ll even shine your mother fucking shoes. Now I have to do this online assessment. I’m glad he told me it wasn’t timed because most people skip through it and don’t go through the next part of interviews.

THE ONLY REASON I’m a little nervous about working here is because someone I used to look up as mentor works there. He thinks I am the reason he got fired. So I’m nervous. We have always been cool together and I really hope this changes things. I want a fresh new start, and it’s comforting to know there will be someone I know. Just not comforting to know they hate me for the WRONG reasons. For my own sanity I may just set the record straight.

But anyway, this blog isn’t about him, it’s about me. YAY!

All the shit I have been through, it’s like someone is finally listening and giving me break. I’m going to do this assessment later because I’m a little dazed and well, yeah.

That’s more like it. Peace out bitches. Here’s a selfie for you!

Update

So I have been in the hospital for a few days. I have a stomach problem that I can’t pronounce nor begin to type. Basically the way I have been treating my body sucks and it’s time for a life altering change. Oprah style. 

  
Change everything I eat completely. An entire lifestyle change. It’s going to kick my ass. Well it already has being cooped up in the hospital. Today I actually feel better so I’m going to the movies in the middle of the afternoon! I fell asleep so fast and hard that I woke up energized as hell. 

  
Selfie. Although it’s warmed up so I’ll probably have to change again. Oh whatever will I wear in that giant closet of mind. Woe is me. Jk. 

I’m just trying to embrace the future for what it’s worth because it’s not a promise. The future is a gift that’s why this is the present. How’s that for knowledge motha fuckas? 

  
Oh this blog wouldn’t be complete without memes!

  

    
 
That is all. Soaking up some sun then going inside to change and see Jurassic Park! And get high. 

Exploring my music collection & life

As I mentioned I’m exploring my music collection out so I will be updating the songs I’m listening to. You can click on the links and they will open up the song in a new window in YouTube if you’re interested. 🙂 (Currently starting with New Found Glory, “Ballad for the Lost Romantics”)

So I am officially in a relationship with good. I feel really good about my decision to make a commitment to him, although it usually makes me want to do bad things when they’re not around. But he’s different and he takes care of me, as I mentioned. I don’t have any fears with him, he just does things for me without me even asking. It’s never like I did this for you, so you should do this for me. I think my perception of relationships is changing.

Mostly because I closed off emotionally for 7 years, then when I finally met someone, they were horrible to me and for me, I just got super close super quick. It’s like all the things I didn’t feel for 7 years came out in all the wrong ways, well more like on the wrong people. I’m not going backwards, I feel like making this change who is like a prince charming means I’m done with all the bad men. Putting their bullshit in a box, storing it on a shelf, and letting it be. I’m done with men hurting me and making me feel like a piece of shit, and getting in my head. I’m a good girl (hehe, kinda) and deserved to be treated right.

Nice guys were always too nice for me, so I could never be with one. Plus, I blog about all my mental illnesses so I feel like nice guys can’t handle how crazy I can be sometimes. It’s not my fucking fault.

That’s why I like blogging, and listening to music. It puts me in good spirits. (Currently listening to Maroon 5, “Can’t Stop”) I’m updating from 2 work stations and the big computer at the top has a huge hard drive with ALL my music starting from 2004 when I bought the computer. (Currently listening to La Roux, “Bulletproof”)

(Currently Listening to KT Tunstall, “Suddenly I see”) I just took my boo after basically kidnapping him for a couple days. I’m supposed to hang out with my girl whose out to eat with her man. She said she’s supposed to come back here but she might end up hanging out with him since they’re both kid-less, but I really hope she does want to hang. I’m in the mood since my boo left. It’s really great to live with my friend of 25 years. I know my blogs have been a little confusing because of how much stress I was under from moving but now that things are coming together.

(Currently listening to John Mayer, “Why Georgia”) Things are so much better than living at my old house and it’s not a piece of shit. I’m back in my home town where I know where everything is. Getting back to a comfort zone of some sorts. I haven’t moved very much so it was very stressful, especially doing it all by myself. I am not used to doing things on my own, despite being 29 years old. I very much rely on others for help and there was no one there to help me this time. I was doing everything by myself and had no motivation to do anything, but so much desire to get the fuck out of my old house.

(Currently listening to Franz Ferndinand, “Take Me out”) I am kind of in transition since I don’t know how long I’ll be living here, when I’ll get a job, what the fuck is going to happen with me, but I’m just taking things day by day. Living in the moment. Trying to be free and fearless, and not let my anxiety get the best of me.

(Currently listening to Eminem, “Drug Ballad”) Perfect time for a 4:20 break.

During my 420 break:

Buckcherry, “Lit up”
Blackstreet, “No Diggity”
Aerosmith, “Sweet Emotion”

It’s funny how certain people, like good, who is my BOYFRIEND *gasp* can just change us, and make us feel a certain way. Special, and good, and for the first time in my life I feel like I KNOW the other person cares about me. Their feelings are genuine, they don’t want anything out of me, other than me to be me. That’s a reassuring feeling. I have a friend who is in a relationship right now and feels completely under appreciated and taken for granted, and gets no affection whatsoever. She can’t live with him, or without him, she’s torn. But I told her if she’s not happy there are other men out there that you can be with that will make you feel totally happy.

(Currently listening to Britney Spears, “Piece of me”) Life is all about the pursuit of happiness, which is why I love that song so much. We only get one shot at this life, we there is no time for negativity and unhappiness. Live life to the fullest.

(Currently listening to Yeah Yeah Yeahs, “Gold Lion”)
(Currently listening to TI, “What you know”)

Obviously I am more interested in my music at this point and I think just about all I came on the interwebz to say today. Enjoy my fuckery of a musical selection, yes, I know it’s all over the place, just like me 😉

Never create a lock on your phone while high….

Because even though you enter it twice, and you think you entered the same one you always enter, you don’t, or you won’t. Then guess what happens? You’ll have to reset you phone at the fucking Apple store because iTunes crashes on your computer because it’s not a Mac. Fuck you for being stoned. No, just fuck you for not being able to type in a correct 4 digit pin you are able to remember when you were stoned. Because I typed it in twice correctly. So, that’s what I spent my morning doing.

I took my friend to work at 8 AM, then I just got ready, got coffee and gased up, and waited outside the mall for it to open. When I got to the Apple storeat RIGHT WHEN IT OPENED, I was already 30 mins behind and had to wait. I couldn’t believe it. Hence why I hate going to the Apple store.

How I felt at the Apple store:

Now I’m just waiting for all my apps to slowly redownload because I have a shitty internet connection.

Well, at least that shit is SECURE. All those nudes I had of other people are now just in my iCloud. Haha, I have shit on everyone. Exes, friends, ex friends, yeah, everything goes to iCloud mother fuckers. And I have 20 gigs of extra storage space so, watch the fuck out when you send me shit, because although I would never, ever resend or damage you with that information, it does it saved in my super secret secure storage cloud and phone. But now my phone was wiped clean so now it’s just in lala storage iCloud land.

Anyway, today looks something like this. After I got my phone fixed I dropped some money off to my dad for my car payment. I talked to my old neighbor who went on and on about how great I look and all the weight I lost. I let her go on and boast for a minute because damn, it feels good to hear. Yeah, I’m a little full of myself these days, but wouldn’t you be too? I’m not letting it go to my head, I’m being modest. I’m not going around dressed half naked. I’m just being more expressive in my clothing because now I can actually wear clothes again, which feels nice. (instead of just t-shirts and yoga or sweat pants)

I don’t know where the day is going to lead me. It’s only 12:00 and I’ve accomplished a lot, much like how I did yesterday. I must say, I’m a pretty productive girl these days. Must be in the air here or something.

Anyway, here’s a cute picture of my dog I just took now that my IPHONE WORKS AGAIN!!!!!!!!

Awwwwwwww puppy faceeeeeeeee I LOVE YOU MAIZY! My fur baby! ❤ ❤

Oh I jazzed up my header. Will be looking into layouts soon. You guys know I’m nerdy and techy so I invest a lot of time into the layout of my blog, which I have slacked on. Even that new header was a jumping off point. I got better shit. I just wanted that Hello Kitty beach picture up there honestly.

This speaks to me

  

I think that’s what I’ve been doing for the last I don’t know how many years. Not just hide a love, but hide love all together. So all I did was lie. I never said the word love, but I never allowed it into my life in general. When I saw it staring at me right in front of my eyes and I knew it was there, I lied about how I felt. So I must not looked into any of the men’s eyes I’ve had in my life in the last few years. I didn’t have love, want love, or felt deserving of love. But now that I’m in a place where I COULD love someone, how long do I hold it in? How long does it take for me okay to love? Am I Just a big fat liar for letting these men come into my life thinking they might, just might have a shot at breaking me? 

I’m typically an honest person except when it comes to this subject. That’s how things just are right now for me. I was so cut off from emotions of any kind for years and the first man I allow into my life just came in and ruined it. My heart that is. I don’t think bandaids work. 

I want a person who is good and true, and while I have that, I feel like it’s too much. Then on the other hand I have someone who I know is the wrong person for me, but we understand each other. It’s hard to explain. 

Quotes. Ughhhh you always make me think hard core. 

Life

Yesterday the house that I moved in lost power due to non payment. I switched my friends DTE account into my name. I’m broke but I only had to pay $35 yesterday to get the power turned back on. I owe DTE a lot of  money from my last place however since everything in the home was illegal, and the furnace wasn’t even permitted until 5/21. So I swooped in and saved the day. I’m magic like that. But since I’m broke, it’s hustle time.

So today I have a court appearance for my previous place because they’re trying to evict me. I’m not fighting to stay, which is what I think my landlord thinks. I don’t want to stay in that place. He gave me a date to move out, but then served me with eviction papers. Oh well, I’m going to show up with my documents and tell them there’s no reason to evict me, I want to leave, and oh by the way this place isn’t even legal, so you can’t even charge me rent. When I moved in, I paid first and last months rent. So, I owe nothing. My landlord lives in California so I doubt he’s going to be there but I wonder who is. I’m also going to donate plasma today for extra money. It’s grind time.

Well, I’m going to take a shower and get myself all dolled for the day. I haven’t done my hair in like a week, so I am going to make sure I look extra good for court. I broke my toe trying to move shit to so that sucks. I don’t know where all my shoes are so I’ll have to locate those as well.

Oh life…. you………..ughhhh

Sorry this isn’t much of a real post, but I just needed to vent some shit out. Oh, and look at this awesome picture of me I took when I went to a wedding. Yes, I dressed in all black like I was going to a funeral, including black tights, but fuck it.