I have to say that despite doing not much on my birthday it was swell. It most definitely ended swell too and continued into this morning. (You follow me?)
This is the same person I mentioned a few blogs back that him and I have been super close friends for a couple years. We met under some really fucked up circumstances, and a lot has happened since we initially met. There has always been chemistry between us, but the last night we finally did something about it. It’s like we have been in this super close friend zone for so long that we thought that’s all it might be.
I just feel bad right now because he’s really depressed about a lot of shit in his life. His ex won’t let him see his kid and hasn’t for over a year. He’s still going through the court battle to get ANY visitation with his son. He has a lot of other issues like me too, so I know what it’s like to he stuck inside your head when all this bad shit is happening in your life. It’s makes it almost impossible to get out of bed and do anything. He’s been so upset and mopey all day long and I feel horrible about it, and wish there was something I could do. It just hurts to see your friend be in so much pain and you’re not able to do anything to help them.
He knows I don’t want to put myself out there either because of how my last “relationship” went, and he himself is just in a shitty mindset. All I can so as a person is be there for him. When they say you can’t change people, it most certainly is true. I realized today the same is true with emotions. You can’t change someones emotions, or try and make them feel better when you suffer with mental illness. I feel really bad I’m going to try and cuddle or something.
My friend is coming over in a little bit so I can do her hair for a “date” she’s going on tonight. I say it like that because they’ve been friends forever, but she does like him, and of course I want to make sure she looks hot as hell. My friends always have me doing their hair since i”m just a whiz at it. I should start charging. Oh snap, and it looks like I just made $40 by selling my tablet.
Have you ever felt like you just floated through the day? Well I have, and today was one of those days. I can’t describe it other than I floated through the day. What I mean is that nothing really significant happened today, so it all just kind of seemed rather dull. So instead of feeling productive, I just felt blahhhhh….like I just floated through the day. Maybe you understand? But I titled this blog because apparently money will make me move. I’ll explain….
Last night I received a check for $200. I didn’t really NEED to cash the check today because I had nothing to buy. I ended up at Walmart this afternoon where I first tried to cash my check. I wasn’t able to because the address on the check doesn’t match the address on my driver’s license. This pissed me off. I found another place that would cash it, which also happens to be a gas station. I decided to get gas, then cigarettes, and of course something to drink.
I came back home to finish getting ready for a doctor’s appointment I had. So I went to that, it was great, then I had to jump over to the pharmacy to get my prescriptions. Shouldn’t have spent any money at Walgreen’s since all my prescriptions are FREE with my new insurance. However I did have to wait 20 minutes, which prompted me to browse around the store. I ended up with some makeup, juice, dog treats, nail stuff, a birthday card, and some other shit. I get to the counter and my 20 minute wait time at Walgreen’s just cost me $54!!! What!?
So yeah, I just kind of floated through the day.
Hmmm…. what else did I do today? Oh yes! I ordered my sister’s birthday presents. Our birthdays are 2 years and 2 days apart. She text me today asking what I wanted for my birthday, then I asked her what she wanted. As a kid I always hated sharing my birthday, birthday parties and birthday cakes with my sister. But now that I’m older I miss it so much. We rarely spend our birthdays together since I live in Michigan and she lives in Arizona, so it’s not the same anymore. I also went online to show her what I wanted only to find that it’s OUT OF STOCK. All these months I’ve had this shit in my favorites bookmark specifically for my birthday, and now that it’s April IT’S OUT OF STOCK? Well, that’s what they wanted me to believe.
The website is actually a company I did advertising for a couple of months back. So I pulled that card and sent an email. Of course they remembered me, and actually said they do have one in stock. SWEET. Sorry guys, it was out of stock, but if you’re awesome like me and say hey, I did advertising for you guys, then BOOM it magically becomes in stock! SCORE!
I just came back from my mom’s house. She kept telling me she bought me something for my birthday to match something I already have. Here’s the thing, I have so much shit that I had no idea what she could’ve possibly gotten me. She got me these Coach sandals to match the purse I already have! (pictured below)
I took my dog on her second ride today and I just picked up some Burger King. Someone won’t leave my side in case I drop a fry on the floor.
Alright well if this hasn’t completely bored you to death, I also wanted to briefly mention an organization yesterday that I’m really excited to start working with. It’s called Stamp Out Stigma, and it was designed to to reduce the stigma surrounding mental illness and substance use disorders. Their main website can be found here You can also find them on Facebook, Twitter and Youtube. I would also encourage for you to show your support for Mental Illness by wearing one of these bracelets. Whether you struggle with it yourself, a loved one, family member, or just because you support this cause.
Here is their support page where you can order the bracelets, update your Facebook photo to show support. and take the pledge. I ordered some bracelets last night. You have to order a minimum of 5, which I am pretty sure I can find 5 of my friends and family members who would be willing to wear this to show their support for me, and for the cause. I will be ordering more! If you are interested in one, please let me know, I will even buy them for you. They’re all about trying to erase the stigma that comes with having these disorders. I’m kind of trying to do that with this blog.
I think I’m going to veg out for the rest of the night and rape Netflix. I finally got my sleeping medication so I predict I will be going to bed very early tonight, and I will stay asleep allllllllllllll night. Ah, that just sounds like heaven right now because I’ve only been sleeping about 3-4 hours a night. (No naps either!) I just made this:
Ohhhhhhhhhhh and in case any of you have forgotten….
Peace out my lovely readers, and THANK YOU for all of your support of this blog.Please feel free to share it with your friends. I don’t actively promote this blog on any of my social media outlets because it’s something I kind of hide from most people, unless I trust them enough to read it. (and that’s a very, very, VERY, small list.) I would definitely like to get the word out there about my blog.
Well today is a magical day for stoners. It’s our holiday! Not like we don’t celebrate it everyday or anything. But today we get to dedicate our entire day to the fact that we love to smoke pot. We’re entitled to that. Shit, we celebrate George Washington & Abe Lincoln’s birthdays, we should celebrate this too!
I’m dressed for the occasion as you can see.
I am going to take this opportunity and post to talk about why weed is great and how it has helped me with my mental illness. I know it’s still technically considered a “drug” but that’s something the government wants us to believe. Some people just have a problem with it because it’s illegal, and don’t even consider the benefits. It’s fucking SCIENCE. I don’t give a shit what the fucking law says, it truly has helped me.
I know that I’ll probably be on medication for my mental illnesses for the rest of my life. Harsh chemicals in my body for the rest of my life can’t really be healthy. I choose to smoke weed because while yes, it still is smoking, it’s fucking natural bro. You can’t tell me that a plant is harmful to my heath. You can’t tell me that something natural is way better than something man made out of poison. You can’t tell me that despite it being illegal, it doesn’t help me.
When I smoke, I get relaxed. I laugh, I say stupid shit, other people laugh. I get hungry. I get lazy sometimes. But there’s never been a single time in my life where I’ve been so high off pot that it has destroyed something, ruined my life, injured someone, or anything NEGATIVE. It’s not addictive. It’s fun, and it makes me feel free. I DON’T SEE ANY SERIOUS PROBLEMS HERE. Have you ever read how many side effects are on one medication? I’m on like 6 different medications. How can this be good? You know what side effect should come with every bag of weed you buy? Warning: May cause extreme happiness and hunger. Order tacos before use, and get on the internet machine and Google image search unicorns for instant LOLz.
I know I’m not a fucking doctor, and I haven’t done all the research. But I’ve researched and experimented enough to know that there’s nothing harmful, dangerous, bad, or negative about smoking weed, other than the negative stigma our government has given it by making it illegal.
It pisses me off that pot is illegal. For example there is a local ordinance in Ann Arbor that allows you to just get a ticket for possession of weed instead of going to jail. However, there are also state cops that have more authority who will patrol the same areas as the local police just looking to bust people for small time marijuana charges because it’s an easy bust. Seems like a total waste and allocation of government resources, doesn’t it? THAT’S BECAUSE IT IS. There are so many people in jail right now for small time marijuana charges, and REAL criminals are out on the streets. You couldn’t possibly spin this to make it right because it’s wrong. SO WRONG.
I am happy that Michigan does support medical marijuana. When this was being proposed into office I was in a lot of political groups at the time to help raise awareness to voters on why they should pass it. I’d like to think it was my way of giving back to my community as a stoner. All of our hard work that year paid off because Michigan passed the bill! I am fully qualified to get my medical marijuana card, it just comes down to the fact I don’t have money right now. It’s something my doctor and I discuss, because I have always been open & honest with my doctor about my pot use. I think it’s important for him to know I use it because it will directly effect how he medically treats me. He can’t prescribe it himself, but he has given me all the necessary paperwork and list of physicians who can help.
Also, here’s some fucking food for thought…. (literally)
Yeah, suck on those nuts!!!
Thank you all for reading my stoned rant/blog today. Maybe you learned something, maybe you didn’t. Perhaps you agree, or disagree. It’s even possible that you’re so fucking high right now you can’t even comprehend what I’m saying at all, and the words are floating off your computer screen. (If you are, message me, I want your dealers #….) But in honor of today I felt as though it was important to blog about it. Smoke on friends. One love. ❤
4/20 UPDATE 10:08 PM EST:
The day has been great. I managed to get out of my house and pick up some 4/20 supplies at a super good deal. Some of the swag included this:
Pure medical grade buddy. I don’t fuck around.
200 MG of pot per cookie. STRONG AS FUCK. I got 2. Shared half now I’m going balls deep on this one. My friend also picked up a pipe to smoke wax out of that looks like Master Shake from Aqua Teen Hunger force, and it’s totally rad, and gets you superrrrr weird.
THEN as I was pulling up I decided to check my mail, and guess what arrived? A check for $198.10 to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t even work there anymore and they’re still paying me and sending me checks, paying my unemployment, and I have free state insurance. Well I’d say getting fired has really done a lot of good for me! You are qualified for all these free programs! And bitches be paying you like what upp!!! Yay for 4/20 and it almost being my birthday. I changed my wallpaper today on my iPhone! YAYYYYY!
It doesn’t feel like Monday when you don’t have a job. It’s just like any other fucking day. If you have read some of my previous posts you’ll know that I absolutely hate Monday’s. If you do a Google image search for “fuck Monday memes” you will be LOL for sure. That’s how I used to TRY to get in a good mood for work on Monday mornings, just have a quick LOL at some of those memes and go on with my shitty ass day. Like this image for example….this can easily make you smile even for a hot second on a shitty Monday. It’s a cute kitty getting drunk because he/she hates Monday’s too. It’s a national crisis.
So I posted last night/this morning that I was going to be productive. I am happy to report that the time is currently 5:40 PM and I did get somethings checked off my list. First, you’ll have to know that because I am bipolar and unemployed, I consider getting out of bed and taking a shower as productive. Actually getting dressed after that shower, putting on makeup, and wearing something other than PJ’s is super productive for me. So I’ve already done all of those things today. (I slacked a little bit and didn’t style my hair.) This may sound stupid as fuck to someone who doesn’t understand being bipolar, but anyone who has it or truly understand it and knows my situation knows how hard it is to overcome small challenges like getting out of bed when you have no reason to. It really pisses me off when people use the phrase “you’re so bipolar” as an insult. Not to me, just in general. It should piss off anyone who is bipolar really.
I am doing this blog most importantly for myself and my own issues, and if by other people reading it using the tags of bipolar, or mental illness, or whatever read it, and it helps them too, then that’s even better. I struggled with the isolation of being bipolar for years, and I knew it wasn’t ME and I didn’t want to feel that way, but I also didn’t know what to do. I finally got a really good doctor who listens and understands my concerns about medication and diagnosis. Being positive and maintaining the positive attitude has really been helping me maintain my bipolar disorder throughout these last few weeks. I really like this quote because it’s true. Having this mental illness has taught me that I can overcome any challenge, and also not to let things get stuck in my head and give me negative energy. If I do let things get stuck in my head, I get pulled way the fuck down and it’s so hard to climb out of that. This blog really does help me channel all my thoughts and release them from my head.
Anyway, I got a package this morning at 9 AM and I don’t have a doorbell but Maizy is a great improviser. I’ve never seen how crazy she gets when a delivery man comes to the door since I’m usually at work. She went fucking crazy, which is why I woke up in the first place and actually signed for the package. Anyway, I splurged a little bit with some leftover tax money and purchased myself a new pipe. But not just any pipe, a cupcake one! Thank you to Chameleon Glass for the pipe, case, grinder, storage container, lighter, sticker and candy they sent along with my pipe. It’s my first time ordering with them, but it won’t be my last. They were super fast, excellent customer service, and provided me with tracking information as soon as it was available. So here it is!!!!!!!
I also got in touch with the unemployment office today. They told me they would release my first payment today, and I should have it in my bank account in a few days. I shouldn’t have had to call in the first place, it should have been done automatically. Of course, it wasn’t….so I had to get on their asses and take care of business myself. I have to certify again on Monday for the last 2 weeks, and then it should release a couple days after that. I got a notice from the unemployment office last week that said my employer never responded to the paperwork they sent over as to why I was terminated, and so by default I automatically get unemployment.
I also reached out to my former boss and told him I tried contacting HR regarding getting reimbursed for the wages they took out of my last paycheck for insurance. Basically in my email to my former boss I said hey, I know this isn’t your job, but can you please get the fuck on the person who is so we can be done with this already? Shortly after I emailed him I got a response back from HR. She told me she was out of the office sometime when I sent her the email and it had gotten pushed down in her inbox and she lost track of it and never followed up. She didn’t really have an answer as to when I’d get my money back, hopefully this week. She said she would have a better idea once payroll is finished and that I should email her on Thursday to get more information. I made sure I put 2 reminder notices on my iPhone calendar to follow up Thursday. I want every last dollar I can possibly get out of that place.
When I checked the mail today I got a letter stating that I was accepted for Medicaid. So I have health insurance. YAY! I also got another letter from the state saying they needed more information from me in order to qualify me for food assistance. I got the paperwork today, and they needed to receive it today. I called at 4:30 and left a message and said hey dudes, I just got this today, and there’s no way I can get this information to you today. So hopefully they’ll return my call tomorrow and allow me to have extra time.
I also got in touch with someone I used to be a server with. He recently moved into the area and is serving at one of my favorite Italian restaurants out here and said he makes bank. He is going to try and get me some part time work up there so I can get cash, and my unemployment. It’s temporary. I definitely do not want to be a server for very long, I enjoy office work too much. (That was my back handed way of saying I’d rather be lazy and sit at a desk than actually work on my feet!)
Well, now I guess I’m having some company. Someone I haven’t seen in a while. I’m glad I did my makeup today….I just wish I would’ve done my hair so I could look my absolute best, but whatever. I think I look decent. Pale, but decent. More bronzer. Definitely more bronzer. I will post about how this rendezvous goes.
If you had a shitty Monday, don’t forget my trick to instant LOL’s on Monday! (Google image search fuck monday memes)
Money and shopping is one of my biggest triggers of my bipolar. I’m feeling very bipolar, and I don’t have any money. So, here’s what I decided to do. Window shop online for my birthday. Compose it into a blog, so I could reference it later for my friends and family. Genius.
Like I said, this is my happy place! Today could have been absolute shit. I mean considering my car said it is -20 degrees and I have no water in my house! Yeah! Woo! I didn’t want to be negative Nancy today because I was yesterday with this water, and my landlord, and blah, blah, blah. I’m trying to put positive out there. Like this:
I had a decent day at work. Not my most productive, but it’s President’s Day and most offices are closed. So I got a few sales, scheduled a few appointments for the week, sent out a few emails, nothing too snazzy. But, I think that positivity I was spewing did work because *BOOM* guess what I won?
Yep. Just what I needed to splash up my gas tank for the week so I didn’t have to swipe my card and over draw it. I left work early because my landlord said he was at the house. By the time I got here the water was on. I left the faucets on so that if the water did come on it wouldn’t freeze again. It worked!
So FUCK YOU MONDAY for trying to fuck with me. Positive Polly over here won’t let it. Oh yeah, welcome to my first official post!
welcome to my happy place 