When it rains, it pours, and rips off your bumper.

FUCK. 

I was driving home in a really bad storm where I could barely see. iAds a turn and didn’t see a curb and must’ve turned over it. It was raining so hard on the freeway that I couldn’t hear it dragging the entire time. It was about 20 miles. Yeah so I also have a job interview tomorrow and don’t even know how bad the damage is. The little guard underneath the front bumper is bent underneath the car. I already fucked that thing up last winter and got it fixed in the spring. I’m legally blind. (most of you mother fuckers claim to be “blind” because your glasses are sooooo thick. Well mine is -11.50. Anyone who knows what that means and tries to tell me how bad theirs are, it’s usually like a fucking -3.0 or some shit. Side rant) I shouldn’t have driven home in the first place with the horrible rain and my eye sight. This just pisses me off, I have an interview tomorrow!! As usual I called my dad and he’s going to come over in the morning and assess the damage. I couldn’t really see how bad it was because its dark and raining. I tried to pull it and it’s totally jammed up under my car. Fuck fuck fuckidy fuck fuck. I was shaking the whole way home too. Just a nervous wreck on the road. The windshield wiper speed on my car is like too slow too. I asked the dealership to adjust it and they said it would be a modification to the car and break my lease. My car is only a 2013 Ford Focus. You’d think a newer car with all the gizmos and gadgets in that mother fucker would have windshield wipers that go fast and actually block the rain while driving. It’s a fucking safety hazard obviously in which I was a victim to tonight.
I got a OCD and changed all my contacts on my iPhone to different hello kitties that represent each person with corresponding emojis. 

  
It’s still thundering really bad and shaking the entire house. I’m in the basement and can still feel it

I should really get to bed so I can wake up and have my dad look at my car. I’m going to finish the Wolf of Wallsteet since I started watching it earlier. 

I hung out with evil today and did laundry at his house. I had to go to court for him on Friday. He ended up spending the night in jail, so when he came out I went over there because his mom called and said I was the only person he wanted to see. Then this afternoon we hung out and ran some errands while I did my laundry at his house. I’m just comfortable doing it over there. His mom likes me and it wasn’t awkward. 

I also got harassed by evils ex after court. I just told her by the way she was typing she’s so dumb and I don’t understand what she’s saying, so she should stop embarrassing herself. I may have mentioned it has something to do with her not finishing high school. She’s trying to ruin his life so I feel like I have to help him. He told me he loves me. I know it must’ve been really hard for him to tell me that because he hates talking about his feelings. So that just threw me off balance completely. What do you say? What do you do? I can’t have two people telling me they love me (the two I refer to as good and evil) and I’m just frozen. I hate emotions and had them shut off for YEARS and totally detached from everything emotionally for a long tnme. I didn’t realize I was capable of turning my feelings on or off until now. Because I’m doing it. It’s going to explode in my face so I know I’m going to sabotage this anyway. It’s like eh, whatever. I need to teach myself not to detach and ruin a good thing because I have a fear of commitment. Okay I guess I really needed to blog today. 

Here’s some stuff I saved that makes me LOL. The second one is what my BFF sent to me.    

   

I need to get in a happy place NOW

There is so much bad shit running through my mind right now. A lot of unknowns. I won’t get into specifics. But if what the unknown is what turns out to be what I think it is, then I’m going to be like *poof* pissed the fuck off. Aside from that, I’ll be extremely hurt, heartbroken, amongst another things. So, like I said, without being so specific here (because I really have absolutely no idea what really is happening at this point, contact unknown) I just really need to get my mind elsewhere. So, it’s here. Here it is. In my happy place. Here goes it. Here it goes.

Work this week. MIND FUCK. I think I mentioned this before, but I sit RIGHT NEXT TO MY BOSS. This is a huge problem for me. Mostly because I’m always somehow getting sales and numbers or whatever the fuck they want this month, but never at my desk. Hmmmmmmm…………..I just kinda float. So now that my boss can see me AT ALL TIMES, he can literally see me, at all fucking times. He keeps watch on me. He told me today I’m his project. Whenever he sees me talking to other people he shoos me away from them. I guess that’s good. I’m just trying to get someone to smoke a cig with me TO BE HONEST.

Then some other fuckery happened. A good, good, person got let go. Fuck this place. FUCK this place. UGH. I walk around with a target. Why am I not gone? I’m waiting for it. It’s my ammo for another gig. Ugh, I hate new jobs. I’m so fucking weird. I’m SO fucking weird. Whatever.

I’m really glad my dog is getting along with 1 of these 2 cats. The other went crazy and attacked me and the dog so it went to bed with my friends daughter who I am watching along with her house for the night. I had to bring my fur baby along too! She had so much fun in the car! Weeeee!

I took like 8225895828982023093owiotei (an estimate) pictures of her with her face out the window smiling! She looks so happy! Weeeeeeeeee Maizy!

Okay, so the thing that I don’t know about if it’s a thing I don’t know about. I’m just going to figure this whole shishkabob out in the morning. I’m totally stealing wifi from my friend who is actually stealing it from someone else. Hacker life.