It’s only Thursday?

I feel like this week has been incredibly long. Maybe it’s because I spent all of last week in the hospital and in an incredible amount of pain, and this week I’m back to waking up early and watching the kids. Even though I don’t have a “real” job yet, it does feel nice to still wake up in the morning and do stuff with my day, even though I don’t have to. When I was unemployed before, my bipolar would keep me so low, that I wouldn’t get out of bed, do anything, go anywhere, or even look for jobs. I just existed, slept all the time, and just wasted away. That’s the OPPOSITE of what I’m doing right now.

I usually wake up around 7 or 8 AM and get ready and watch 3 kids, ages 8, 5 and 3 all day! They’re great kids and they love me so I enjoy it. It helps out my best friend so she doesn’t have to pay for a babysitter or wait on one, since I’m already living here. All I have to do is wake up. I usually wait until the kids are awake before I take a shower but I think after this blog I might try to squeeze one in since they’re still dead asleep. (For now at least)

I’m really looking forward to the weekend because it’s my family reunion in Chicago!

I’ve never been to a family reunion before, so this should be fun. My dad’s side of the family only consists of my dad, my uncle & his wife, me and my sister. So this reunion is on my mom’s side of the family which happens to be quite large. Her cousins live in Chicago and they’re throwing it at their house! I am so excited to see this part of my family! Some of them I haven’t seen in years, and I’ve definitely grown up and changed a lot since the last they’ve seen me. I think I was like 9 or 10 the last time I saw some of my relatives, so this will be a great time to reconnect.

We are leaving tomorrow morning around 8 AM. I asked if we could leave a little later, but of course she said no. Good just moved into a new house, so I might go and stay the night there tonight with all my stuff for my trip, then go to my mom’s house from there in the morning since it’s closer. My mom told me I can just sleep in the car, but the last time I did that on a road trip with her, she got pulled over 3 times for speeding!!! Yeah, so I’m definitely going to stay awake for this one.

I have to get my laundry done, pack, watch the kids, and get everything done before tonight. I want to see good before I go on my trip, but I’ve never stayed at his place before, so I’m a little nervous/uncomfortable. I don’t know why, but I just am. Maybe because his mom lives there, and good and I have been talking for a while, and I haven’t really met his mom or know about her. I’ve only talked with her a few times in a group setting, but never one on one. So she said to him that she feels like she doesn’t even know me, it made me feel kind of awkward. See the image below as a reference of how I feel.

So here’s a picture from yesterday. I didn’t feel like washing my hair or styling it because it’s so frizzy, I managed to whip it back and pull it off. My makeup was on point yesterday too. (I’m posting yesterday’s selfie because I have yet to shower and take one today yet)

Note the matching cross necklace and earrings. Getting my Jesus and fashion on at the same time. Oh here’s something else super cute. My aunt that lives in North Carolina makes these cute ass wreaths. She decided to make me a Hello Kitty one. I’m going to get it this weekend at the reunion! How cute is this?

Let’s see….. I guess that’s really all that I have to post on today. It’s only 9:30 and I’ve managed to already do laundry, make my bed, go to my aunt & uncles house, go for coffee, talk to my friend for a bit, and write this blog! I’d say I’m on a good track of productivity today so getting things ready for my trip should be pretty easy….. That is if I keep this pace up. Anyway, I will try and blog while I’m gone, I’m going to take my laptop with me, and my phone of course! I’m sure I’ll put up a post tomorrow because Fridays are my favorite days to post! (They have great Friday memes too) Catch you guys later.

PS, I’ve been working on some rap songs. I got a few tracks down. Get ready for your mind to be blown. I went from being a classical musician and singer, to a rap artist. Yeah that’s whats up.

 Oh PPS, I got a call from a job yesterday saying that I didn’t get the job that I applied for which was a customer service call center position. HOWEVER, they want me for mortgage brokering. I’d have train for 4 months to be certified, then start working with an uncapped commission. The job requires a credit check, I don’t know what they’re looking for. I don’t have good credit, but I have also nothing HUGE or bad on there like foreclosure, bankruptcy, anything like that so……hopefully that goes well!

MondayyyYyyyYyy

It doesn’t feel like Monday when you don’t have a job. It’s just like any other fucking day. If you have read some of my previous posts you’ll know that I absolutely hate Monday’s. If you do a Google image search for “fuck Monday memes” you will be LOL for sure. That’s how I used to TRY to get in a good mood for work on Monday mornings, just have a quick LOL at some of those memes and go on with my shitty ass day. Like this image for example….this can easily make you smile even for a hot second on a shitty Monday. It’s a cute kitty getting drunk because he/she hates Monday’s too. It’s a national crisis.

So I posted last night/this morning that I was going to be productive. I am happy to report that the time is currently 5:40 PM and I did get somethings checked off my list. First, you’ll have to know that because I am bipolar and unemployed, I consider getting out of bed and taking a shower as productive. Actually getting dressed after that shower, putting on makeup, and wearing something other than PJ’s is super productive for me. So I’ve already done all of those things today. (I slacked a little bit and didn’t style my hair.) This may sound stupid as fuck to someone who doesn’t understand being bipolar, but anyone who has it or truly understand it and knows my situation knows how hard it is to overcome small challenges like getting out of bed when you have no reason to. It really pisses me off when people use the phrase “you’re so bipolar” as an insult. Not to me, just in general. It should piss off anyone who is bipolar really.

I am doing this blog most importantly for myself and my own issues, and if by other people reading it using the tags of bipolar, or mental illness, or whatever read it, and it helps them too, then that’s even better. I struggled with the isolation of being bipolar for years, and I knew it wasn’t ME and I didn’t want to feel that way, but I also didn’t know what to do. I finally got a really good doctor who listens and understands my concerns about medication and diagnosis. Being positive and maintaining the positive attitude has really been helping me maintain my bipolar disorder throughout these last few weeks. I really like this quote because it’s true. Having this mental illness has taught me that I can overcome any challenge, and also not to let things get stuck in my head and give me negative energy. If I do let things get stuck in my head, I get pulled way the fuck down and it’s so hard to climb out of that. This blog really does help me channel all my thoughts and release them from my head.

Anyway, I got a package this morning at 9 AM and I don’t have a doorbell but Maizy is a great improviser. I’ve never seen how crazy she gets when a delivery man comes to the door since I’m usually at work. She went fucking crazy, which is why I woke up in the first place and actually signed for the package. Anyway, I splurged a little bit with some leftover tax money and purchased myself a new pipe. But not just any pipe, a cupcake one! Thank you to Chameleon Glass for the pipe, case, grinder, storage container, lighter, sticker and candy they sent along with my pipe. It’s my first time ordering with them, but it won’t be my last. They were super fast, excellent customer service, and provided me with tracking information as soon as it was available. So here it is!!!!!!!

I also got in touch with the unemployment office today. They told me they would release my first payment today, and I should have it in my bank account in a few days. I shouldn’t have had to call in the first place, it should have been done automatically. Of course, it wasn’t….so I had to get on their asses and take care of business myself. I have to certify again on Monday for the last 2 weeks, and then it should release a couple days after that. I got a notice from the unemployment office last week that said my employer never responded to the paperwork they sent over as to why I was terminated, and so by default I automatically get unemployment.

I also reached out to my former boss and told him I tried contacting HR regarding getting reimbursed for the wages they took out of my last paycheck for insurance. Basically in my email to my former boss I said hey, I know this isn’t your job, but can you please get the fuck on the person who is so we can be done with this already? Shortly after I emailed him I got a response back from HR. She told me she was out of the office sometime when I sent her the email and it had gotten pushed down in her inbox and she lost track of it and never followed up. She didn’t really have an answer as to when I’d get my money back, hopefully this week. She said she would have a better idea once payroll is finished and that I should email her on Thursday to get more information. I made sure I put 2 reminder notices on my iPhone calendar to follow up Thursday. I want every last dollar I can possibly get out of that place.

When I checked the mail today I got a letter stating that I was accepted for Medicaid. So I have health insurance. YAY! I also got another letter from the state saying they needed more information from me in order to qualify me for food assistance. I got the paperwork today, and they needed to receive it today. I called at 4:30 and left a message and said hey dudes, I just got this today, and there’s no way I can get this information to you today. So hopefully they’ll return my call tomorrow and allow me to have extra time.

I also got in touch with someone I used to be a server with. He recently moved into the area and is serving at one of my favorite Italian restaurants out here and said he makes bank. He is going to try and get me some part time work up there so I can get cash, and my unemployment. It’s temporary. I definitely do not want to be a server for very long, I enjoy office work too much. (That was my back handed way of saying I’d rather be lazy and sit at a desk than actually work on my feet!)

Well, now I guess I’m having some company. Someone I haven’t seen in a while. I’m glad I did my makeup today….I just wish I would’ve done my hair so I could look my absolute best, but whatever. I think I look decent. Pale, but decent. More bronzer. Definitely more bronzer. I will post about how this rendezvous goes.

If you had a shitty Monday, don’t forget my trick to instant LOL’s on Monday! (Google image search fuck monday memes)

P.S.– The countdown is officially on!!!