Broken as fuck

Here’s a pic of one sick patient comforting another. My dog has an ear infection and I broke my tooth today, and fell down the stairs twice the other day. My knees are all cut up and bruised as fuck along with my left elbow. I can’t get in to see a dentist until the morning. Luckily I have weed and some leftover pain medicine and I can barely feel it, but the fact that I still can is crazy because I shouldn’t be in pain right now. Anyway, I’m really falling apart right now because I fell down the stairs too. I’m legit fucked up. I haven’t been taking my medication and I know that hasn’t been helping. My bipolar has been out of control. I know I grind my teeth a lot and I have mini seizures which is why I think my tooth broke. It’s honestly my biggest fear and I’m freaking the fuck out. I want to jump out of my skin. I’m so afraid to look and I haven’t even looked. My friend and good looked at it and said it wasn’t even that bad but I saw the piece in the gum that it broke out in and it looked big but I probably exaggerated. I made good come and stay the night with me because he was already with me when I was at my friends house. They live close by and he took us to the dispensary so it  just so happened that he was with us when this happened. Then her man or just roommate depending on the day made pasta which warms the soul. It was like white cheese macaroni with feta and bacon and tomatoes. So delish. I miss her. I told him I wasn’t going to be a very good patient and not to get offended because he’s sensitive and emotional. Anyway I took some selfies before I broke my tooth and I just ate some pot from the dispensary. This time I had a strawberry giant gummy bear and of course it was all delish.

Sad day

I can’t snap myself out of it. I don’t want to get into the details because it’s not really my shit to talk about. But right now I’m having one of those moments where everything is just piling up at once. I’m having moments of clarity where I think people have much worse, and why am I bitching/worrying about X, Y or Z right now? I get lost inside my head sometimes. I can’t control my thoughts in my head. This translates into not censoring the things that come out of my mouth. 

Right now I think I’m just having a downward mini spiral of bipolar. Not a full blown one. Just a mini one brought on by multiple fucked up things happening all at once, my stress level and my crazy anxiety. I’m just trying to think optimistically but sometimes it’s not always so easy. 

I find things like this on the Internet and then I’m reminded that you know what, just snap out of it. (If you read my bio, you’ll see that I love all things about the Internet) 



So there. I’ll just push the reset button. I have a feeling I won’t sleep so I hope my alarm wakes me up and I’m not late for work since I didn’t make it in today.