So my last post was about how my aunt and uncle wanted to purchase me eye surgery. Well, on December 16, 2016 I went under the knife and laser and I had PRK surgery. I did not qualify to have LASIK eye surgery since I am in the top 1% in the entire world with the worst nearsightedness. I always knew i was the top in the world at something. LOL. Now they explained that there would be really bad pain involved, like razor blades in my eyes. However, I experienced NONE of that. However the first day I decided I was well enough to wear eye make up I ended up tearing my retina. I had to have the tear removed a couple of days later. It just felt like there was a piece of sand in my eye. It was pretty uncomfortable. It happened the night of Christmas eve, so Christmas day I was pretty miserable.
Also, as of November 26 I entered into a new relationship. It’s with someone I’ve known since I was in middle school. We didn’t go to the same school, we went to competing schools, but he played hockey and I figure skated so we were always in the ice arena together. Funny thing is I always thought he was stuck up because he would never talk to me, but his friends would talk to me and we would always be around each other. It turns out its because he’s had a major crush on me ever since then. Well it turns out last February I asked him on Instagram if he was single, and he never got back to me. Then last Labor Day I hit him up and he was up north. He told me when he got the message he started freaking out, like “This girl I’ve been in love with is hitting me up, asking me to hang out and I’m up north, she must be fucking with me.” But even after that message it still took us a few months to finally hang out. I was nervous to hang out with him alone at first, so I took my friend. I was shy, and it seemed like he liked her more than me, because they were chatting it up. It turns out they have 2 really close friends in common, so they used to hang out a lot more back in the day, where as we would only hang out back in middle school, and back then he never used to talk to me!
We started hanging out more and more, and then by November 26 he officially asked me to be his girlfriend. Now when I tell you this next part, you’ll automatically assume it’s like my past relationships that I’ve blogged about however, I promise you it’s not. In January, he got sentenced to 6 months in jail. However, this is from a case he caught in 2015 long before we were together. I told him to turn himself in because I didn’t want to be with someone who is dodging the law. I get pulled over for speeding a lot (I just got a ticket on Monday) and I don’t want to be responsible him going to jail. So, he did what I asked of him and he turned himself in. Out of his 6 month sentence, he will only end up doing a little under 2 months in jail. He went in at the end of January, and he will be out March 22. 3 weeks from today!! He’s NOTHING like the other guys I’ve been with. He makes me feel like the most important girl in the entire world. I have self esteem issues and he makes sure he tells me every day how beautiful I am, and he loves me so much. I go and visit him every week at the jail for an hour on Saturdays.
I wanted to try and figure out how I could be the one to pick him up when he gets released, however I am scheduled to work that day, and I don’t have vacation time until June. My HR manager is a pushover and she’ll sometimes let you take vacation time early. So yesterday I wrote my boyfriend a letter that I was going to ask to take a vacation day early, but I was a little hesitant to ask. I had to email her about my insurance, so I just flat out ask what was the chances I could get a vacation day early? Like 3 months early? She said SURE. So when I went in her office, I just flat out told her the reason why. However, I made it seem like there was NO ONE there to pick him up, and if I didn’t go he would have to sit there all day. Which isn’t true. I just wanted to be the one to get him. He also wanted to surprise me when he got out and bring me flowers to work. But I got to do the surprise first! So it’s a paid day…. 3 weeks from today.
That Wednesday I’ll have off but get paid for it, then I’ll work my regular hours Thursday. Normally I have Friday’s off because I’m the only one who works Saturday. (We’re only open for 6 hours on Saturday) However that weekend when my babe comes home he wants to go away up to Frankenmuth for the weekend. So I had to get someone to cover my Saturday shift which is super hard to do because none of my coworkers ever want to do it. I struck a deal with my one coworker. She’s going to work my Saturday because I’m covering for her in May when she goes to Florida. But, since I don’t want to miss any hours I’m going to work 6 hours on my day off (Friday) so I’m going to work 8:30-2:30, then my boo and I are going to hit the road by 3:30ish, and we should still be ahead of rush hour traffic. Technically, I don’t have to make up my missed hours. However, I’ve been super broke lately, and I might as well just work the god damn 6 hours. I really don’t have to do anything while I’m there, just make a few phone calls per hour.
My sales were way down for February. I spent a lot of time in the hospital last month. (I can’t believe it’s already March 1st) I only ended up selling like 14 cars, and I’m usually at a minimum of 20. So my other coworker actually beat me, and that NEVER happens. I’m usually always in second place next to my team lead, and it’s been that way ever since I started. But this month I missed so much work due to my mystery illness. Don’t worry, I am definitely not letting it happen again. On the plus side, I still have a higher average of appointments per day than her, so I get paid out higher, so even though she sold a couple more cars than me, I’ll still be getting a higher check than her, and to me, that’s all that matters. I’m soooo fucking competitive.
As I mentioned, last month I spent SO much time in the hospital. I went a couple of times, and they sent me home. Then I went one day, they sent me home, but kept me off work the next day. Then that night I went back to the hospital, but then they kept me for a few days. I had so many scans, x-rays, and even a few procedures done where they had to knock me out. The scary part was I was by myself most of the time because both of my parents were working. My dad did come visit me Saturday while I was in the hospital, but I was in there since Wednesday. They did a procedure on me where they had to knock me out, and before they did they started asking me a series of questions like if I had to be brought back, do they have my permission, or if I need a blood transfusion, do I accept, and I just wanted my mommy at that point. I felt very drowsy from the sedation, and I think I might of even mentioned my mommy, and they said we can call her. I said no it’s okay she’s probably busy at work. Plus, they had 5 patients waiting to do procedures on and I was the first one to go, and I didn’t want to hold them up. They told me they were going to give me something to calm me down, and the next thing I knew I was waking up and the procedure was over and they were taking me back to my hospital room.
The hospital stay wasn’t all bad. I mean, aside from smelling super bad from not showering, being super uncomfortable, being hot as hell then cold as hell, not being able to sleep, my stupid machine going off every 5 seconds from not keeping my arm straight, just to name a few. But I was on a diet where all I could eat was popsicles, pudding, and jello. It was fantastic. They were giving me soups too which I was all excited to eat because I love soups, but they PUREED THEM. They were absolutely disgusting. One taste of it and I almost barfed. I was barfing a lot anyway, so it’s not like it was just the soup. I don’t have a definite answer of what’s going on. It’s a combination of problems. Mostly the medication I have been taking for all my fucked up-ness. They had to change the sleep medication which I have relied on for so long. (Trazadone) I’ve been taking it for so long and they said it’s what’s been making me sick. So while I was in the hospital, they weren’t giving it to me. They were going to keep me for another night, but my vomiting finally stopped so they discharged me. Me, not believing it was my medication, comes home and takes my medication and gets violently ill as soon as I take it. I literally threw up for 48 hours straight. I’d eat a popsicle and throw it up immediately after. They gave me anti nausea pills, and I’d throw those up too.
I couldn’t follow up with my psych doctor until this past Monday so my sleep has been fucked up. They changed my meds, and they put me to sleep right away, however they don’t keep me asleep. Last night, I went to bed right at 9:00 but by 2:30 AM I was wide awake. Same story tonight. I took the pills a little later and went to bed by 11. but I got up at 3:30 AM and now it’s 4:48 AM and I’m wide awake. I probably could’ve fallen back asleep tonight, however my phone started going off and it wouldn’t shut the fuck up. IT was also storming really, really bad. (Thunder and lightning) The dog was so scared she was crying and literally wouldn’t leave my bed.
As I mentioned, my phone started blowing up. So in the past I’ve mentioned my ex boyfriend evil, who isn’t so evil anymore. He’s just… my ex. I did some awful things to him about a year ago and tried to get him in serious trouble. Luckily it didn’t work, otherwise I would’ve jeopardized him being able to see his son, something he’s been working towards for the past 3+ years. We were hanging out around that time and had gotten into a fight, and I wanted to hit him where it hurts. Plus, he started making threats against me. Anyway, my phone started going off and it’s his new girlfriend. He and I have hung out a little here and there. Mostly me giving him rides to run errands, totally harmless and my boyfriend knows about it. I even gave him a ride to his new girlfriend’s house. Anyway, she messaged me accusing me that I wanted to make out with him. Im’ like whaaaat? I said I care about him a lot, I do, but not in that way anymore. I’m very happy you guys are together. She said something about how she knows my boyfriend is in jail and I’m trying to get with him. But then she proceeded to say he couldn’t remember if he dreamed that or not. I’m like please do not involve me in your guys’ conversations when they involve me, if you don’t even know if they’re real or not. You just woke me up! I went on to tell her that I was very happy he has her, and I even told him I want to meet her because she sounds great. He seems very happy with her (even though he told me the other day he tried to break up with her, so I’ve gotta ask him what happened to that.) I said that me, her, my man and myself could all get together. Evil and I started off as friends, eventually got into a relationship that turned into a disaster, became friends again, tried to rekindle our relationship which turned into another disaster, decided to just be friends, and that’s where we’ll remain. We were always better as friends. He’s in very poor health right now, and something very, very serious might be happening, so I try to check in with him every couple of days.
Also, I don’t really have any sort of a relationship right now with my “best friend” of 27 years. She started slipping off the deep end. What happened was she moved back in with her parents to save money, but couldn’t follow the rules her parents gave her. (She’s always been very defiant, she likes to test people and see how far she can push people) So, eventually they kicked her out. Since she started hanging out with my boyfriend and I a lot and she was close with him already, she stayed at his house a few nights and ended up meeting one of his friends. Well, from there she started staying at his house, despite the fact that she had a boyfriend. She started lying to me about stupid stuff, getting into bad stuff, spending money on god only knows what. Anyway, I stopped hanging out with her and only started spending time with my BF. When my dad went out of town she wanted to come over, and my dad specifically said she wasn’t allowed to come over. Our parents talk, so of course he would find out she came over. She only wanted to come over because she didn’t want her parents to know her boy toy was coming to pick her up, so she was just using me. I don’t want to be used by anyone. Fast forward to recently, she just stopped talking to me, and she was doing shady shit like disappearing from where she was staying in the middle of the night, and started talking nonsense to me. I just blew her off. She finally had a mental break and got some treatment. At least this is what she’s telling me. She said she’s been staying with a girl she met in treatment. I don’t feel like she’s being truthful at all. I can’t be around people like that. The only thing she’s been truthful about is it to tell me she got back together with her boyfriend.
Anyway, I think that’s all I’m going to update. I know there’s still more going on in my life but it’s 5:30 AM and I am getting kind of tired. I’ll promise to update more. Thanks for reading and staying faithful to my blog.
welcome to my happy place 